Should I quit skating?

[vivic01]

Hi, I'm a 34 year old skater. I'm skating for 2.5 years. I skate 3-4 x a week, with 1-2 lessons a week. I've passed through the adult bronze tests in moves and freeskate.

I'm not looking to be patronized, my question is genuine.  I'm thinking of quitting skating.

I came to the rink initially to learn how to skate backwards and how to do a great scratch spin.  Those are the two things I always wanted to learn as a kid and it was a dream of mine for years and years to be able to do crossovers like the "skaters on TV" and to spin really fast.

Well, I can do backward crossovers but I really, really struggle with spins and its so disheartening.  At this point I can still only do a very basic beginner scratch spin - 3-4 revolutions, and the same with the sit spin and backspin.  Also, all 3 are extremely inconsistent and at least half the time don't work.

I have two great, talented coaches who I love and have done their best to help me.  They've found small problems in my entrance, in my spin position and posture, but they are both a little puzzled as to why I can't progress in my spins.  (Both of them have, for fun, made my same mistakes in their entrances and have still been able to spin lol).
I have all my jumps easily and just learned loop turns and  I am proud of the progress I've made with that but for me, I still feel that I haven't been able to actualize the dream that I came to skating to fulfill.

I am not rich by any means and have sacrificed every other luxury in my life in order to finance figure skating.  When it was bringing me so much joy, in the beginning, it was worth it a thousand times over.  But nowadays I find myself constantly leaving the rink in tears, and often depressed in general when it comes to skating.
I think the turning point for me was a few weeks ago, when a few friends and I were out on a Saturday night public session and they told me to go and "show off" - and  I was afraid to spin, knowing that it probably wouldn't work and I'd be embarrassed.
I know that the more difficult spins, like camel, layback can take years to master and I wouldn't be discouraged if those were giving me trouble.  But after skating as long as I have, the fact that I still can't do a basic scratch spin with some degree of consistency is really, really getting me down.
Wondering what you guys think.
Thanks in advance.

[jbruced]

No you not stop skating. You should rethink you purpose in skating. What consistent skating over the next many years will do for your overall health and well being should not be sacrificed because of difficulty with a spin or any other move for that matter. Skating provides a tremendous workout of the lower leg and enhances your proprioception or sense of balance. It most likely aids in combatting osteoporosis as well.(My opinion on that) Skate for your health and well being. Skate for the fun of it. Skate for the social aspect of being with friends and like minded people. All these things make old age much better.

I know I stated that pretty bluntly but I didn't want to be patronizing. I understand how you feel.

[Loops]

Do you love skating? Progress aside, does it make you happy to be on the ice? It's normal and ok to be frustrated from time to time. Can you tweeze apart your feelings to determine if the frustration is temporary, or if you're getting over skating?

If you love it, don't quit!!! If you're dreading going to the rink, or unsure, it might be that it's time for a little break.  I made the decision to quit as a kid when I hated going to skate, and found myself looking for excuses to not go. It wasn't making me happy anymore, and it was too much for my parents to spend on something that was making me miserable.

You can always change your mind, whatever you decide, nothing is permanent. Make yourself happy above all.

[mamabear]

Could you keep a journal of how you feel after practices/lessons, etc. for the next few weeks to see if this is consistent and you really just don't like this activity anymore or if you do like it most of the time but have some really down days? 

I used to cross-stitch and haven't done a project in years, I really don't miss it.  Even though I once loved it.  I scrapbook far less than I once did.  I don't know how long I'll skate but if I truly started disliking it most of the time-I think I would quit.

I'm 42, skated for 4 years or so, can't do a 1 foot spin and haven't passed pre-bronze yet.  I still love being out on the ice so I stay. 

[rd350]

It sounds to me like you love skating but are simply frustrated.  Sometimes you need to take a break from what you desperately want to accomplish.  Would you try not working on your spins for a couple of weeks.  Not stopping them necessarily but not "trying" to do anything more than you can.  Zero expectations for thoughts about spins.

Just a thought.  Often we let a skill become our nemesis and when that takes over, little will help and we need to reboot our brains around it!

[Matsumoto]

That is a very difficult question to have to ponder.  I absolutely understand what you are saying about spins.  I have the same problem with them and I keep trying and trying with maybe a 25% success rate.  It's definitely frustrating but I would encourage you to keep trying.

On the other hand, sometimes when I get burned out trying to solve a problem or find an answer the best thing to do is walk away and clear my head for a while.  I usually find that when I come back after some time away from it, I have a different perspective and the solution comes easier.

Like I said at the beginning:  this is a tough question!  Best of luck with your decision!

[Christy]

I wouldn't say quit, but would suggest you take a (short) break to see if you miss skating. Sometimes taking time away from something gives you a new perspective.

[celia]

I agree with the idea that nothing is "permanent."  If you feel taking a break will help, be comforted by the idea that if you feel the "itch," you can always come back.  I started skating at 13, and quit at 18 when I went to a college without a rink.  But, I was very frustrated at that time (yes, especially with spins) and happy to hang up my skates. I started up again after college and skated another 3 years, getting better than as a kid, and quit again at 24 to go to grad school.  I went back to skating last year, and now 38, I have a newfound excitement about skating, even though everything I do is not up to the level of when I was younger, even after a year of private lessons and skating 1-2/3 times a week.  And there is no way I feel I could do a good scratch spin "on command."  If you are partly frustrated because your learning pace is slower than when you started, know it's that way for everybody.  Sometimes I go into a "reconstruction" phase, and in fact I'm in one right now.  We all know not to compare ourselves to others; sometimes it pays to remember not to compare ourselves to ourselves at another time and place.   

I know you say it's the scratch spin you really have as your goal, but in order to rekindle some joy in learning, maybe you could take a "semi-break" i.e. only work on MITF (not for the next test – but learn back-loops maybe or some of the moves that only appear on the standard track tests, etc.), or maybe learn the beginning dances?

[Doubletoe]

The reason you started skating was to learn to skate backwards and to learn a scratch spin.  Why?  Because that's what you wanted as a kid, you say?  If I kept trying to get what I wanted as a kid--which was based on my very limited exposure to all of the greatest things in life--I would never be truly happy!  Allow what you want out of skating to evolve as you learn more about yourself and more about skating!  Edges and glide are pretty awesome, and that's what skating is really about in the first place.

Whenever I get frustrated at my lack of progress, I always ask myself what I'd do if I ever quit skating.  I haven't come up with an answer yet, so I haven't quit.  Plus, skating keeps my butt looking like a 20-year old's.  So there's that.

[ChristyRN]

If it's any consolation, I've been skating for most of 13 years and can't spin, but I keep at it and practice nearly every time I'm on the ice. I'm not sure if I despise spinning because I struggle so much or if I struggle so much because I despise it. It's a classic catch-22 situation.

In my case, I was in the wrong size boots, so for 12 years, it didn't matter what I did, I was up on my toe pick. My skates fit better now and spinning still isn't there yet, but it is progressing enough that I feel like I might actually spin one day.

One of my coworkers asked me today why I keep skating when I seem to get injured so much. I pulled out a picture from before I stated skating. I was so heavy that most people don't recognize me. The other reason is that it makes me feel good. No matter how bad the day was before getting on the ice, it's *always* better when I get off. Unless I bread something or wind up in ICU with a nasty concussion. Even after I fall and get back up, I feel better. It's a risk I'm willing to take. It has to be one you're willing to take too.

[nicklaszlo]

I think people consistently underestimate the difficulty of spinning.  I've seen it over and over on this board.  I have about twice as much skating experience as the OP and I continue to struggle with spins.

[kr1981]

Like others have said, the big question to ask yourself is, do you still love skating and do you look forward to going to the rink most of the time? Or do you have to usually drag yourself to the rink and dread going? If your answer is the latter, it might be time to take a little break for a while, and see if you miss it (or not). It sounds like you might just be getting burned out and need a break--and there's nothing wrong with that! As adults, our reasons for skating are different than young kids, who dream of being famous and going to the Olympics. Most adults skate for personal fulfillment reasons--exercise, stress release, personal achievement, etc.--not to become a famous Olympian one day. So with that in mind, skating is certainly a very expensive thing to do if you don't love it.

As far as your scratch spin goes--my coach has been teaching for 20+ years, and she says that most people are really good at jumping OR spinning, but few truly excel at both (or course, you can work at everything and learn it, but I guess in terms of having more natural ability). You mentioned that you learned your jumps easily, so it might just be that your knack is jumping. I skated for 4 years as a teenager, and never had a great scratch spin. I could do it, but I could never make it go really fast, or hold it for, like, 25 revs. I returned to skating about a year ago after 15 years off at age 32, and it took me 6 months before I could even do any kind of resemblance of a 1-foot spin (like... 3-4 slow revs). It's 5 months later, and I'm still working my butt off on my scratch spin. It's more consistent, but it's still only 6-7 revs and not very fast at all. My coach will say I need to keep my core tighter, or keep my arms tighter to make it go faster, or hold my free leg in front to make it last longer--and of course, I overthink it and the whole spin falls apart. It's frustrating, but I've just accepted the fact that good scratch spins are WAY more difficult than they look, and maybe scratch spins just aren't my "thing." I'm not giving up on it, though. I just accept that spinning is REALLY FREAKING HARD. It's a skill that I'll continue to work on--probably for as long as I continue skating--and it will improve at a snail's pace. We started working on it sit spin last October, and that's in the same boat. But I'm okay with that because I look at the progress I've made on other skills, and also put a lot of focus on improving things I'm good at--making a jump bigger, doing footwork turns with more speed--because that's the kind of stuff that keeps me feeling like I'm making progress--and in turn, makes me feel good about skating. (And for what it's worth, I can't do a back spin at all anymore. I could do it as a teen, but a year later, attempting it just scares the bejeezus out of me!)

So, maybe take a step back from putting so much emphasis on your scratch spin, and look at the things you learned more easily, and can do well (i.e. your jumps). Does that progress make you feel good, and proud? If so, it's probably not time to outright quit skating, but maybe just take a little break, and think about if you'd be happy re-evaluating your goals, so that you're putting less emphasis on the spins that are causing so much frustration, and more emphasis on the things you enjoy doing and excel at. My big thing about skating as an adult is--I'm in it for fun, personal achievement and exercise. Not because I might be able to make a career out of it one day. Therefore, nothing in skating is worth beating myself up over! I just accept that there's stuff I'll learn quickly, and there's stuff that will take forever. There's stuff I'll be good at, and there's stuff that will always feel awkward/unnatural/scary. But that's just the nature of skating. I think the bottom line of skating as an adult is, if you love it, it's totally worth it. But if you really don't love it anymore, it's an awfully expensive thing to keep doing "just because." And if you don't love it anymore, or are just feeling burned out, there's nothing wrong with stepping away, because you can come back at any time.

[alejeather]

I think people consistently underestimate the difficulty of spinning.  I've seen it over and over on this board.  I have about twice as much skating experience as the OP and I continue to struggle with spins.

Hear hear. This week in running my program, I've landed my axel more than I've hit my sit spin. Which one have I been doing much longer? Definitely the sit spin.

Spinning is hard. It is so different from any other movement I have ever done.

I like the advice to let your goals evolve, and to learn to enjoy the process. I took drawing lessons for a while, but I didn't really like the process of learning to draw, I just wanted to be able to draw. For some reason, I love the maddening challenge of figure skating.

[sarahspins]

I think people consistently underestimate the difficulty of spinning.  I've seen it over and over on this board.  I have about twice as much skating experience as the OP and I continue to struggle with spins.

Ditto this.  I've even met skaters (of ALL ages, from fairly young kids to adults my age and older) who had most of their doubles but did not have strong spins.  Everyone's skill development is different... spinning may come easily for some, but for others it's just going to take a lot more time and practice.  I credit my ability to spin with having learned all of my spins when I was MUCH younger - fear was really not something I dealt with back then, but it definitely is now.

In about the time the OP has been skating, I've been working on learning spins the other way - with my ultimate goal being to have strong spins in both directions.  I'm the same age as the OP, and even though I have strong spins in my normal direction, that the progress of learning them going the other way has been s-l-o-w.   I can do a reasonable one foot spin (and I can, at this point, break down the entrance when I am teaching and demonstrate it easily, at full speed or in "slow motion" - but only because these are skills that I need for teaching classes), but I can't yet to a fast scratch spin that direction (it freaks me out to even try it), I really can't do a sit spin (it uses very different muscles than doing a back sit the other direction - I struggle a lot with being able to pull my free leg all the way "in" to meet my skating leg).  My forward camel is so-so the other direction, and I've only just begun working on a back-camel, despite not having a solid backspin the other direction (it's almost good enough to be what I'd consider "passing" at the FS2 level, but it's not strong and I am not very confident about doing them because the consistency is just... not there - but curiously enough, the back camel is coming to me easier than the backspin, and I think it has a lot to do with the body position, it's just easier to bail from a back camel than it is from a backspin and not feel like everything will go wrong - in a backspin I feel like I have nowhere to go if I lose my balance in any way, which usually means I'm going to fall).

At the end of the day though, it's not really anyone else's place to tell you to quit or stick with it - that has to be your choice.  I can say that if you want to take a break, or simply not focus on working on the things that are getting you down, that's absolutely okay - you can take the pressure off, but you don't need to feel like you've given up or that you quit - taking a break is not quitting.  There are plenty of things on the ice I wish I could do, some of those are realistic goals, and others are not - and it's important to know the difference.  I do feel like for all skaters, spinning well is something that is achievable, however it may take significantly more time than most would expect.  If you still enjoy skating, despite the things you wish you could do better, that alone should be a reason to keep at it

[FigureSpins]

When I was first learning, I hit a major roadblock with jumps.  I had taught myself how to spin.  In the wrong direction.  On the wrong foot.  So, I was re-learning how to spin, which meant that my spins were mediocre at best.  I also had a horrible time with jumps.  In addition to being overweight, I didn't have body control or awareness.  As a former competitive swimmer, I had great core strength but my leg muscles were trained for breaststroke and freestyle kicking.  Hindsight being 20/20, I now know that neither stroke developed the muscles needed to properly check the free leg on a jump and cross it over.  It's still a major problem today.

One day, I had a private meltdown and decided that I just wasn't destined to jump.  Instead, for a month, I did spin after spin after spin on every session.  While I still tried to do the jumps during lessons, it wasn't happening.  (Likely, because I wasn't practicing, lol!) 

I will say that six hours of spinning each week made me really good at spinning.  With my initial "wrong way Conway" approach, I can do basic spins in both directions.  When my scratch spins *finally* became good from all that practice, I *finally* started landing my singles because they built up the leg control I needed.  I never had the beautiful crossed-ankle jumps, but they were high and strong, checked/landed well, with clean takeoffs, so it was a tradeoff.

Today, I wouldn't suggest my "screw jumps, I'll spin until I drop" approach.  Instead, I would suggest figuring out what is preventing you from spinning well and doing some PT to get it corrected so that that obstacle is eliminated.

[Neverdull44]

It sounds like you are very stressed out about this.   This must be a fun sport.  When the expectations of others (parent, friend) and the skater's ability don't match, the skater is especially stressed.  It goes from being enjoyment to dread.   

You passed bronze & you can spin.  3 revolutions, but not a super long spin like you'd like. 

First, are you on beginner blades or blades that "came with" the skates?   These  blades don't have much of a bottom toe pick.  So, to spin on them you have to raise up too high on the ball of the foot to even reach the bottom toe pick.  Three revolutions is about all your are going to get.   Or, you have to have extraordinary balance to spin without using the bottom toe pick.  I suggest that you get better blades, like Coronation Ace or MK Professionals if you don't already.

Second, spinning is the hardest thing to learn and the easiest thing to do.  It's really hard to learn. I am "stuck" with a 3 to 5 revolution camel spin . . . for the past 3 years . . . . at my best.  Some days, I don't even get 1 revolution before falling on my nose.   

Third, skating takes years.  Some people are better jumpers than spinners.  Some better with footwork.   We all struggle with something.

Fourth, my own life - hitting mid-life.  Me, my friends, my friend's spouses, my spouse  . . . all of us realizing that life is half over.  Looking backwards, and we all want our youth back.   Some are getting tattoos or worse, girlfriends younger & divorces.  It's not college kids that are wild . . . it's the 45-55 year old MEN who are nuts.    They can't be happy with reality, a reality that they should be very happy with.   A wife & family that knows & loves them as they are.   They can't see where they could be headed, into older age with a beautiful history.  Instead of taking positive steps to advance healthy, fit, and happy into senior years, they are hell bent on quitting everything and everyone they've built.   And, so with skating.  Instead of focusing 90% on what we need to do to be better and happier skaters (even if it's just one more revolution), we get anxious and angry over what we don't got.  Life and skating takes long hours, hard work, and sometimes things don't work out exactly what we wanted.  Some quit, others work harder and stick with it.

If you quit skating at your age, what will you say in 10 years, 20 years, and on your rocking chair?  If you are happy with that and ok with it, then quit.   I had a chance to go diving with sharks. I was on the boat, the cage was there, 400 feet of water . . . and I was perfectly FINE NOT going into the cage.   The shark captain tried and tried to talk me into it.  It was a "Hell no . . .and my life is complete without doing that" moment.

I had to quit skating.  When I returned to the rink a few years later, one lady who was less advanced, was now a great skater and a learn to skate coach on the weekends.

Finally, if you do quit skating . . it might be just temporarily.  I quit during my teenage and college years, to return in my 20s, to quit in my early 30s and return in my mid-40s.   I was always able to skate around, go forwards and backwards.  But, jumping in my 40s is different.  I am relearning with a bad case of Adult Onset Skating Leg Syndrome.  I've been battling it, and am now about to beat it down on my double footed Lutz jump.   

[riley876]

What would have to change, to make the question of "shall I quit skating" pleasantly irrelevant?

[cbskater]

I am so jealous! You CAN do a scratch spin! I've been skating almost 5 years & am still trying to do a decent basic one foot spin. I was finally making good progress on the one foot spin, then I got new skates & new blades last week. Now I can barely do a 2 foot spin. Also, you passed bronze moves, pre bronze moves & pre bronze freeskate! I wouldn't even pass pre bronze moves due to those darn turns in the patterns.

I really think this is a mental problem of focusing on the negative & that you can overcome it. It is self destructive to think that way. I watched my daughter do this & ultimately quit skating. She gave up what she loved more than anything because of negative thinking. She often came off the ice in tears of frustration. She turned something she loved into a huge source of stress.

Figure skating is hard & at times very frustrating. Limit the amount of time you practice the spins each session and move on to something else. Be grateful for small amounts of progress. Realize that there will be plateaus where you don't progress for a while. End each practice session with something that you love to do & can do well, so you come off the ice happy. Take a break from the spins for a week or two as others have suggested. Pay attention to what your inner voice is telling you & don't let it sabotage your efforts. Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.

[axelwylie]

Ditto what everyone else has already added.

FWIW, I still struggle with my camel spin. And it took me many years before I had a somewhat decent scratch spin. There are many days where I can't center it.

[vivic01]

Wow, I didn't realize how helpful everyone's replies would be.  There was so much truth in many of the comments I read.  I am going to take the majority advice here and take a little break from spinning and not from skating.   I didn't take in the importance of having a great outlet for exercise and socialization.  I have made some of my best friendships on the rink and can't put a price on what they mean to me.
I love the idea of starting the beginning dances too.
Yesterday I was feeling already a lot better at the rink.  I had a few friends there and I finally got my outside loop turn on video. 
Thank you all for your support and wisdom! 

[davincisop]

That's a good decision.

FWIW, I have been skating since I was 10 (about 15 years total) and I still struggle with my scratch. I'll have days that it's on and others that it's not. If I can't do a scratch one day, I just take that day to focus on other elements. I also am STILL trying to land a loop and a flip on one foot, so you're ahead of me there!

[fsk8r]

Wow, I didn't realize how helpful everyone's replies would be.  There was so much truth in many of the comments I read.  I am going to take the majority advice here and take a little break from spinning and not from skating.   I didn't take in the importance of having a great outlet for exercise and socialization.  I have made some of my best friendships on the rink and can't put a price on what they mean to me.
I love the idea of starting the beginning dances too.
Yesterday I was feeling already a lot better at the rink.  I had a few friends there and I finally got my outside loop turn on video. 
Thank you all for your support and wisdom!

I'd not got around to responding to your initial post, but I'm glad that you've taken this decision. I think we all get far too caught up in one little element of frustration and forget the wider picture. My wakeup call was when I was advised by the doctors not to skate. I decided to take a risk and to carry on skating in the short term. I thankfully was able to have surgery to rectify the problem (otherwise it was a lifetime skating ban), and I've managed to maintain for the last couple of years a positive attitude of just being grateful that I'm there. I still get moments of frustration (who doesn't), but it's a lot easier to shake them off when remembering how close I was to losing everything.

[Loops]

Wow, I didn't realize how helpful everyone's replies would be.  There was so much truth in many of the comments I read.  I am going to take the majority advice here and take a little break from spinning and not from skating.   I didn't take in the importance of having a great outlet for exercise and socialization.  I have made some of my best friendships on the rink and can't put a price on what they mean to me.
I love the idea of starting the beginning dances too.
Yesterday I was feeling already a lot better at the rink.  I had a few friends there and I finally got my outside loop turn on video. 
Thank you all for your support and wisdom!

Yay!!  I, like Fsk8r am also glad you've taken this decision.  In the interest of brevity I left it out of my original reply, but I am 100% with everyone else who said spinning is hard.  Wicked hard.

I'll also share this, I took a nearly 30 year hiatus from skating.  I never planned to come back.   I was *that* over it when I left.  Now, I'm back and I am able to thoroughly enjoy every minute on the ice.  Yes I get frustrated.  And I can't seem to fix things.  While my break was excessive.  I think it took that to reset my perspective.  The time was 'right' for me to come  back, and I was lead to it. I can skate now FOR ME.  And only me.  And I don't care if I fall flat on my bum, or have the world's suckiest camel spin or teeniniest flip jump.  I enjoy the process now so much more, and just trying things makes me happy.  Shoot, just stroking around the rink makes me happy.

Sounds like opening up about your feelings and frustrations was cathartic and helped out in and of itself.  Awesome.  Hopefully the spinning break will help put that into perspective, too.  Sounds like you got this!!!!

[Doubletoe]

Wow, I didn't realize how helpful everyone's replies would be.  There was so much truth in many of the comments I read.  I am going to take the majority advice here and take a little break from spinning and not from skating.   I didn't take in the importance of having a great outlet for exercise and socialization.  I have made some of my best friendships on the rink and can't put a price on what they mean to me.
I love the idea of starting the beginning dances too.
Yesterday I was feeling already a lot better at the rink.  I had a few friends there and I finally got my outside loop turn on video. 
Thank you all for your support and wisdom!

Great!!  I was thinking about your original post--and some of the responses--this morning, and I realized I rarely actually look forward to going to the rink and skating.  I've been doing it for almost 20 years now and at 50, I am not going to spend any more energy trying to learn new double jumps or even fighting to get my double salchow back.  I am mostly working on my artistry and edge quality and trying to keep up the skills that I've already acquired.  I get frustrated at my inconsistent spins on a daily basis.  But I am NOT tired of BEING A SKATER.  Even on a day when you don't skate your best, you are still a skater, and you are still part of an amazing world that you wouldn't want to lose.  I think that's why I keep going to the rink.  I'm a skater.  It's what I do.  Period.

[rd350]

Good to hear!

@Loops, to your comment about just stroking feeling great I want to retell a little story.  I was doing a Black Diamond class last summer and after our on ice lesson we had half the rink for practice and there was one of the more senior coaches arm in arm with a gentleman that looked to be at least in his 80's and he looked to be Parkinsonian.  The coach was literally just gliding him around the ice!  It so touched me and I thought I hope someone does that for me one day if I can't do it myself!  They guy's skates were pro.  He looked familiar but I don't know who he was.  It was just so lovely.