Skater Mom

[Kelly]

HI, I'm new to the group and looking for info/advice from other Moms. My daughter is 8 years old and has been skating since she was 4. She competes in ISI at a Freestyle 2 level. Lately I've been wondering if this is just going to be a fun "hobby" for her or if this is going to take her somewhere. Either way I'm fine with it but I question the level of commitment (financial and time wise) that my family and I make for her to skate. I'm a very skeptical person so although she generally places very well in all competitions, I just don't know if she is really that talented to warrent the time and money we are investing. I know that sounds terrible to say outload and I don't mean for it too. I love her and her skating and I'm willing to give all I can to support her if it is warrented.

Any advice from other moms out there?

[Neverdull44]

The odds of any skater becoming famous are very small.   

That being said, I skated as a kid and am now a skater and a parent of a skater.   Our whole family skates.   My son & husband are more into it than my daughter.

Skating will teach her alot of things.   Physical and mental.   Hard work, goals, achievement.   Trying hard, listening, and never quitting.   It takes alot to learn any move, and never giving up is big part of it.    Also teaches self reliance.  When you do a program, it's all on your shoulders.  What you've trained a year to do, all comes out in a few minutes.  If you can survive skating, you can survive anything.   College was super easy, law school a snap, the Bar Exam and CPA exam, just a preparation.

Physically, you are training her to understand her own body.  It takes balance, strength, coordination, and stamina.   

But, it is a hard sport.   When I was pregnant with my daughter, everyone asked me if she was going to be a skater.  I said, "Only if she wants to be.  It's too hard of a sport otherwise."    So, if your daughter is having fun, then let her do it.   You don't have to be cultish about it.  She will learn & improve, even if she only goes once or twice a week.   

As for as her becoming a national champion.  Depends on how much she loves the sport, her body type, her muscle type (fast or slow twitch), ability to jump, and withstand the injuries.    The girls who skate very seriously at my rink, all do virtual school offered by our county.    They are very dedicated to their school work.  I help them occasionally, especially with math.   They are right on track with my daughter who is in a brick and mortar school.   One of the girls is a few years ahead.  But, again, you don't have to go all cultish on skating.   Do it for fun, for exercise, and for the intangibles that skating teaches.  And, if she really loves it . . she'll be an adult skater one day too!   

[Alibee]

Is she having fun? Do you have to drag her to the rink, or is she champing at the bit and ready to go?

After each 8-week LTS class session, I check in with my daughter to make sure she's still enjoying it and wants to continue. She's had to repeat levels several times, and she knows what it feels like to persevere and then succeed.

[nicklaszlo]

I'm skeptical of the value of talent.

[fsk8r]

Neverdull is right about the other attributes skating teaches which aren't all about becoming Olympic champion. The work ethic and self discipline are wonderful skills to have learnt. Yes, they can be learnt from other activities (I know someone who's daughter does a lot of dance and she has the same discipline to organise homework around her dance schedule) but if she's enjoying skating at the moment then there's no point worrying about the future.

And having watched a lot of the kids moving up the categories. A lot of the more "talented" ones tend to do really well at the lower levels, but it becomes a lot harder to maintain that as they move up and the difficulty level increases. Learning how to handle failure as well as success is equally important.

[Neverdull44]

All of us parents have hopes and dreams.   And, I don't mean to squash your hopes and dreams.  If she skates for 7+ years, consistently a few times a week & off ice ballet, and through the ages of 9-14 (main physical imprinting years), the odds are that she will be a very beautiful skater.   She will do layback spins, catch foot spins, double jumps, axels, and split jumps.     She will have a ton of medals, from local and regional competitions.    She will develop a fabulous core, which will carry her over to many fitness endeavors    But, this will only happen if she loves the sport.   Sometimes, you get to love it after you get better & better.    She could become a coach, making a decent living.  Or, she could become interested in sports medicine, nursing, physical therapy.

Winning at USFSA sectional, regionals, and nationals is another level.   Winning at the Senior Level in Nationals is a whole other level.   

It's kind of like "Do I send my kid to school, if his odd are that he's not going to be President or Congressman of the US?"   Of course you develop your child's schooling.   Because, even if he becomes a mortician, it's still a very important job.   And, Condoleezza Rice was a figure skater . . . and look at where she went in life!   Whatever your political views, she carries the elegance and poise of figure skating.

[twinskaters]

Neverdull, I love your answers here. We are just at a point where my kids are raising their level of commitment to skating, and their coach is talking about making a fairly large (for them, now) jump in the level at which they'll compete. Reading your reminder of all the wonderful "side effects" of skating makes that a little less scary.

[jlspink22]

Is she happy/fulfilled and does she make a conscious effort to do her best? If so and you aren't financially strapped then let her skate. There's hundreds of kids who go through lts programs and only a handful that go to nationals. I don't see this sport as an investment with a concrete return. School first always and then skating, which makes my little ones heart full. I'm just glad to be along for the ride.

[ARoo]

My daughter has set specific goals that we've used to determine how much she needs to skate right now. If there comes a time when it is clear she won't be able to reasonably achieve her goals, we will no longer spend the kind of time and money we've put into skating in the last 2 years. Her coach and I are in agreement that if she isn't moving forward at the rate needed to achieve her goals, then we'll move to a more recreational approach.

She needs to advance one level a year from now until she is 12 in order to complete at regionals as a juvenile for 2 years.  If we get to age 10 and she hasn't progressed from where she is now, it's not reasonable to assume she'll be more than a recreational skater.  At that time, we'd need to reassess spending 3-4 days at the rink, the financial investment, off-ice training, equipment, family sacrifice, etc.

I know it sounds cold-hearted, but I won't let other important things suffer unless what she's doing in place of them is really worthwhile. I'm just practical that way. If she's 14 and she doesn't have a reasonable chance at getting out of regionals, that won't be the time to double-down and switch to homeschooling to focus on skating (as I've seen others do). 

There is nothing wrong with being a recreational skater (I am one).  There are plenty of ways to have fun and keep skating that don't cost a mortgage every month and that don't consume your entire life . 

Edited to Add:  My daughter is 8, just so the ages above have a little context. 

[Query]

Going for National or World champion is out of most people's reach, no matter what the child's athletic talent. If you check, you will find out that at the upper competitive levels, many upper end skaters spend $75,000 / year or more on skating. It includes equipment, sports medicine, coaching, ice time, driving and other travel costs, etc. Plus all the time traveling with your child from competition to competition.

But you also have to take into account how it will make your daughter feel if she doesn't get to try as far as she can go.

Lots of kids take music and/or dance lessons. But an insignificant fraction can make a living at it. The same is true for sports. But such things can be a very fun part of growing life, and it is a LOT easier to learn them when young.

It is true that if you train your kid solely to be a plumber, electrician, doctor, engineer or lawyer, and they can stand it, they have a lot better chance of being able to make a living at it. But if that's all they learn, they may never have any fun. They may not be any fun for other people to be around either. I think doing things for fun is part of what makes someone fun to be with. And the ability to do athletic things can be a big part of that.

But it's your choice.