Coach advice...

Qarol · September 07, 2011, 10:32:56 AM

Hiya...I'm new here. And I have no one else to ask for advice on this topic. I really like my coach. I feel we work well together. But she's recently gotten a "day" job teaching elementary school. Now, she's only available to coach at times that really aren't all that convenient for me. I'm an adult and also have a day job, but I work from home, so the early morning sessions are the ones I prefer. I have too many coworkers on the west coast (while I'm on the east coast), so trying to go to the afternoon sessions would be difficult, but that's the only time she can coach me. I'd hate to schedule a lesson, then have something come up at work, and have to cancel last minute. And she goes to church, so the Sunday afternoons are out. The only other time available are the really early Saturday mornings. And here's my beef with those...I'm not a competitive skater. I skate for fun a few times a week. I work a full time job. I'd rather not give up my Saturday mornings. I'd rather sleep in. I really don't want to try another coach, but I fear I have to. It's been a month of me avoiding the decision without any private lessons. What if I don't like the new coach? I've had not-so-good coaches before who were too hard on me (years ago, when I was in high school). My current coach is so nice and patient with me. She makes learning new moves fun and enjoyable.

What would y'all do? Would you try to keep your existing coach, which would mean skating when you didn't want to? Or try to find a new coach who could work with your schedule?

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Skittl1321 · September 07, 2011, 10:38:46 AM

I think it is only a personal decision. I pretty much have to work around my coach's schedule. In one year, we are on our third lesson time.

ferelu · September 07, 2011, 11:19:26 AM

Honestly, since the coach is aware of this situation, you could easily switch coaches and neither of you should feel bad about it. Ask your coach who she would recommend you work with. Coaches all know each other's strenghts and weaknesses, tell her you want someone nice, and she can point out to you, who is nice. Best to keep enjoying skating by not giving up your Saturday morning and stay in touch with your coach through emails and update her about your status. Provided she has availabilities, you could always switch back if the schedule conflicts disappear.

Sk8Dreams · September 07, 2011, 06:45:34 PM

If you want to try a new coach, you can do exactly that: ask for a "trial lesson or two" with the coach you are considering. That way you aren't stuck if you don't think it's a good match.

techskater · September 07, 2011, 07:41:01 PM

If Saturday morning is available, I would highly consider going there. After all, there's always afternoon naps to make up for it on the weekend.

FWIW, I am on the third lesson time with my male coach due to always working around my customer visits at work. We moved to the 6A Saturday time and other than dog trial weekends, it's working out well. We work around those, though, with Friday lunchtimes and Sunday afternoon skates.

sampaguita · September 07, 2011, 09:15:22 PM

I would get a trial lesson with a few coaches out there. You never know if one is as good (or maybe even better) than your current coach, and also with a schedule that works with yours. Just talk to your current coach about your situation and maybe ask her for some suggestions.

And then, if it doesn't work out, do the Saturday mornings. Just make sure that you have to keep good relations with your coach -- explain about your full-time job (don't just say I want to sleep on Saturdays!

), and that you need your day-off as well, but that you'd still like to work with her if your schedule changes.

Teresa · September 07, 2011, 11:00:02 PM

You have a difficult choice to make. Personally I would work around my coach. I've learned the hard way how difficult it is to find someone you like to work with and is a good fit as a student. It would be easier for me to change my schedule than find a "perfect" coach for me. Hard choice!

Good luck,

Teresa

techskater · September 08, 2011, 07:39:33 PM

Agreed, Teresa! That's why I suggest Saturday afternoon naps.

AgnesNitt · September 09, 2011, 09:55:30 AM

I don't see what the problem is. You want to sleep in on Saturday. But you can already sleep in on some other day. You've said, your work allows you to skate on weekday mornings so those are available.

Or am I being dense? Is it you don't want to give up your Friday nights activities and sleep in afterwards that's the problem? Well, if that's the problem, then that's a different decision.

As an older woman, I can tell you that the benefits from Friday nights partying are overrated and fleeting. Benefits from skating last a lifetime (improved balance, flexibility, strength, less osteoporosis etc). You could tell your Friday night partners that you need to get home to rest early for skating. If you're in your 20's that's hard. If you're over 30, well, that's easy. You could even limit yourself to one blowout a month. That's easy to live with.

Or you can get another coach.

Qarol · September 09, 2011, 10:07:11 AM

Quote from: AgnesNitt on September 09, 2011, 09:55:30 AM
Or am I being dense? Is it you don't want to give up your Friday nights activities and sleep in afterwards that's the problem? Well, if that's the problem, then that's a different decision.

No, you're spot on. I don't want to give up my Friday nights. With my husband and cocktails. I already go skating on Sundays, so I've given up my Saturday nights. I don't want to also give up my Friday nights. And by sleeping in, I mean until like noon. I can't sleep in THAT late for work. The best I can get is 9 or 9:30. I know...I'm lame and full of lame excuses. But for an early skate, I could never drink any alcohol the night before.

fsk8r · September 09, 2011, 10:27:52 AM

Quote from: Qarol on September 09, 2011, 10:07:11 AM
No, you're spot on. I don't want to give up my Friday nights. With my husband and cocktails. I already go skating on Sundays, so I've given up my Saturday nights. I don't want to also give up my Friday nights. And by sleeping in, I mean until like noon. I can't sleep in THAT late for work. The best I can get is 9 or 9:30. I know...I'm lame and full of lame excuses. But for an early skate, I could never drink any alcohol the night before.

Thursday is the new Friday. Works for me. And I've managed to go out late on Friday and be on the ice on Saturday morning and I do actually have productive lessons. I just have to nap later or I won't survive the next week. But I've had to have Saturday morning lessons if I wanted to skate for such a long time, that it's a conscious decision I made when I moved to privates. But then again I've never been allowed to sleep to noon and couldn't if I tried now (well mega jet lag can do it).
But if you can't manage that, then you just need to find another coach. Although, I've made sure work knows I skate, so that lesson time is sacred. If I've an after work skating lesson one day, I'll work extra another. Work more than gets their pound of flesh.

Qarol · September 09, 2011, 10:38:59 AM

Quote from: fsk8r on September 09, 2011, 10:27:52 AM
Thursday is the new Friday.

I do appreciate all the advice, from both sides of the spectrum. And I'm not easily offended, so fire away. I've been flip-flopping back and forth for a month, trying to weigh what's more important to me. It's been a struggle, mentally.

I would love to make Thursday my new Friday, but my husband works and cannot work from home. He would never be able to drink with me on Thursday nights. Or stay up super late. Drinking by myself just isn't as fun, ya know. :-)

Skittl1321 · September 09, 2011, 11:03:53 AM

Quote from: Qarol on September 09, 2011, 10:07:11 AM
I know...I'm lame and full of lame excuses.

Yep, sounds like it.

But actually- No, you aren't. It's just priorities. As an adult skater (and really even as a non-elite child skater) it is up to you to set your priorities. I've given up Friday nights to skate on Saturday morning. You DON'T have to. You just have to decide what is important to you, not what is important to others.

If Friday night drinking is important to you, then it sounds like another coach is in order. Skating as an adult is an activity that should enrich your life, not take away from it. Some people want to sacrifice their social life for skating, because that is what best enriches them, that doesn't mean you have to do it.

SynchKat · September 09, 2011, 04:23:27 PM

I don't blame you for not wanting to skate early mornings!

When I quit competitive skating I vowed never to do those again which is probably why I didn't last long coaching.

Personally I need a few hours to get my body working before I can get on the ice.

I think what others have suggested about getting trial lessons with others is a good idea. I think yuo said you skate other times and forgive me if you answered this do you get lessons at other times with this coach? Maybe you could have a couple of coaches. Does your coach work wiht someone else maybe who might be willing to team teach?

techskater · September 09, 2011, 11:51:13 PM

I often stay out late on Friday nights and still manage to get up at 4:50 for Saturday morning ice and lessons. Actually, after "date night" that goes late, my brain lags a little behind and I find I pick up the instruction a little bit better/quicker than having to "sleep on it". Heck, when I first came back to skating, I worked second shift (but a non-standard second shift) doing my time learning to supervise people. I'd get up at 2:00P on Friday, go to work, get off work at 5:00A, go to the rink for an hour, come home, shower, get dressed, go to a football game, run errands, etc, change, go BACK to work, come home around 5:30A Sundays and crash for ~12 hours.

sampaguita · September 10, 2011, 08:21:05 PM

Quote from: Skittl1321 on September 09, 2011, 11:03:53 AM

You just have to decide what is important to you, not what is important to others.

Agree. Non-skaters and some recreational skaters will think you must be crazy to go to the rink early mornings. Dedicated skaters think otherwise. It's just a matter of opinion.

emilayy · September 17, 2011, 12:53:20 PM

i think you should ask your coach for recommendations. she probably knows the coaches that have similar teaching styles to hers. i definitely wouldn't worry about offending her, as it's only a timing issue. also, pay attention to other coaches on your practice ice. you can usually tell who's a nutjob and who's sane. you can also ask other skaters if they are pleased with their coaches. i know it'll be hard to give up a coach you really like (i've tried several other coaches, but i always stick with the two i've had the longest), but you never know, maybe a new coach will do you well!

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