How to help a self conscious competitive skater?

[jenniturtle]

My 10 year old DD is starting to compete. The problem? She is not allowing her personality to shine and it shows. She has the routine down pat, she just makes it look dull and lackluster. She does not smile, there are no facial expressions. She has a strong out going personality, sunny, makes friends very easily. However she feels self conscious. I have tried to explain that those who are watching her compete will not laugh at her. they are there because they love skating or someone who skates. They will not laugh at her "big"arm movements are a big smile.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to let go on the ice??

[MadMac]

Has she seen herself perform on video ?  This can be such an eye opener. What kind of music is she skating to? Sometimes expression has to be specifically choreographed to help the skater. As she is watching the video ask her what she likes about the performance and then what she dislikes.

[Sk8tmum]

We put our shy kid into drama and ballroom dancing.  Worked well. Because it was a safe and accepting place (carefully chosen) - learnt to be dramatic and reach out to the audience in a way that translated well.

Also - costuming... some shy girls are better in a costume that is covered up and a bit more low key.  Costumes that show bare skin can cause them to withdraw ...

[jenniturtle]

Has she seen herself perform on video ?  This can be such an eye opener. What kind of music is she skating to? Sometimes expression has to be specifically choreographed to help the skater. As she is watching the video ask her what she likes about the performance and then what she dislikes.

she doesn't really like her music which i think is some of her problem. She wanted to skate to "something with words" but was told she could not. I tink if she was allowed to choose something she liked it would be better. She was given a choice of two, both not so great.

[jumpingbeansmom]

Do you have a subscription to icenetwork?  If so, have her watch some of the junior nationals.  You can see those girls shining, not just skating....maybe if she sees herself on video (blah) and then how they show off, it will help.  My dd was really self conscious at first (she is also 10) but now knows she needs to sell it a bit.

[Sierra]

I'm kinda the same way. At my last competition, my coach asked me if I liked skating. I said of course. She told me to show the judges that I liked to skate. It totally changed how I skated. Suddenly, smiling didn't feel so unnatural. Often a coach will say key words that makes something click for the skater and changes their attitude.

My coach also really makes me go full out in practice. Smile, arms, down to the tiniest detail. I find that once I get over doing the arms in front of 10 skaters on the same ice that are way better and much more graceful (not that they are even watching me to begin with), it's a lot easier to do so in a competition when some kindly judges, my coach and disinterested people in the stands are watching.

I think it is just one of those things that takes time and experience to overcome. I have competed 6 times and done solos for exhibitions/shows 3 times, and I'm still really not going full out yet. Not only do I have difficulty performing, my speed and quality of skating really drops in a competition.

[MadMac]

Well, skating to music that she likes would help, I'm sure!  But she can also take this as an opportunity to display her acting skills -- if she can convince the audience that she loves her music and loves to skate, she might even convince herself. Hopefully her next program will be to music she loves - she deserves it after struggling with this one.  BE AN ACTRESS!!

[Schmeck]

she doesn't really like her music which i think is some of her problem. She wanted to skate to "something with words" but was told she could not. I tink if she was allowed to choose something she liked it would be better. She was given a choice of two, both not so great.

Is she allowed to have music with lyrics?  Most USFSA divisions/categories do not allow lyrics, so she's be out of luck getting that wish fulfilled.  Maybe an instrumental version of her favorite song? 

When my older daughter was skating, it really helped when the coach let my daughter have some input about the music.  Actually, she picked the music for both of her solo programs - music from the remake of the Parent Trap, and then a medley of music from Lord of the Rings.  It helped her get invested in the programs, as it was music she enjoyed.

Younger daughter was able to do the same thing with her competitive dances - she got to pick the music and the costumes.  Maybe next season your daughter could have more input into her music choice?  She could start making a list now!

   

[Isk8NYC]

Is she allowed to have music with lyrics?  Most USFSA divisions/categories do not allow lyrics, so she's be out of luck getting that wish fulfilled.  Maybe an instrumental version of her favorite song? 

The USFSA rules were revised two years ago and now the opposite is true: Basic Skills, No-Test through Intermediate and any 6.0 events can use music with vocals.
It's really only Novice, Junior and Senior events (Singles and Pairs) and IJS events that exclude vocal music.

However, I don't know if jenniturtle's dd skates USFSA.

ITA about letting her have some say in her music, with some guidance from the coach.

[Schmeck]

Vocals all the way through intermediate?  While it makes it more interesting for the skaters and the audience, I'm wondering how it gets judged?  The old school part of me sees judges looking down at those skating with vocals, although that's very likely untrue these days, as the judging has changed radically over the past decade.  Lyrics at junior nationals?  That seems strange!  Thanks for the info though, Isk8NYC!

[Isk8NYC]

If it's an Intermediate IJS event, then no vocals.

[skatingmama]

My DD is the same way, won't smile and is self concious about her arms. She has learned, by watching other skaters and in particular, Olympic skaters, about how the arms are big and sweeping and she's getting better. She likes to imitate other, senior skaters in the club too but for smiling, I resorted to paying her and while it may not be the right thing to do, it worked. She will smile throughout her entire performance for $20. 

[jumpingbeansmom]

My DD is the same way, won't smile and is self concious about her arms. She has learned, by watching other skaters and in particular, Olympic skaters, about how the arms are big and sweeping and she's getting better. She likes to imitate other, senior skaters in the club too but for smiling, I resorted to paying her and while it may not be the right thing to do, it worked. She will smile throughout her entire performance for $20. 

LOL!! Last night, we had our performance night, and dd (10) has been struggling with some of her double double combinations....I expected a disaster, but instead, right out of the gate, she landed 2lutz, loop, 2 loop and the BIGGEST smile came across her face, and suddenly she started skating faster, and smiling more and then she landed the double flip double loop and more smiles....I am coming to believe that first they must feel very confident in the technical and then the performance comes along.

[skatingmama]

Good for your DD! Congratulations to her and hopefully that confidence will stick around.

[jumpingbeansmom]

Good for your DD! Congratulations to her and hopefully that confidence will stick around.

I hope so!