Boot Rant

[Query]

INSTANT SKATE BOOT SPRAY

I hereby invent, patent and claim perpetual rights to an invention, consisting of a spray can full of instant self-adhering, self-forming boot spray, to be applied to each foot.

The modestly priced non-toxic spray spreads around your foot to create a perfectly conforming breathable fit. It telepathically links to your brain to determine the desired skating style and level, and instantly provides all the support you need, while allowing the exact range of motion that you need, and provides the exact degree of thermal insulation you want. Before the bottom of your foot dries, you step on a blade, and move the foot around until it is centered, at which point it instantly bonds the blade to the foot.

When you are done, you spray on the solvent, the boot disappears after performing a foot massage, and the blade pops off.

If you order now you will receive one free can of my INSTANT ICE rink creation and ice surfacing spray.

Advance orders may be forwarded to

Ideal Products
Distribution Department
North Pole Station
Attn: Santa Claus