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Author Topic: Delusional Parent Disorder  (Read 1201 times)

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Offline Isk8NYC

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Delusional Parent Disorder
« on: July 02, 2015, 03:26:32 PM »
I read this blog post today - food for thought, plus a cute catch-phrase: Delusional Parent Disorder (DPD) -- not  as cool as "Adult Onset Skating Syndrome (AOSS)" but cute nonetheless.

http://www.layupsandrebounds.com/keith-van-horn-blog/2014/10/1/m9eq83kasftyrxiod8a13db3ubsyns
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Online twinskaters

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Re: Delusional Parent Disorder
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2015, 05:52:17 PM »
Good one! Stealing it to share on Facebook. Not that the afflicted will recognize themselves.

Offline Neverdull44

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Re: Delusional Parent Disorder
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2015, 07:08:21 PM »
Awesome.   

Skating parents try to confide in me about their child's coach's issues of not recognizing their child's talent.  About a month ago, a parent was miffed when her child didn't pass into Freestyle 3.  She could barely do the elements in 1 & 2, and not do them with any speed or strength.  The coaches wanted her to stay back an work on her muscle development.    This child does very well in school, but I tried to explain to a non-skating parent how hard skating is and that holding her back was also for her own safety.  Wobbly jumps and spins can lead to broken bones and concussions.   While the parent was nodding with me, I could tell that she just wanted her daughter to get up a level.  So, I tried to explain USFSA judging and how kids are not passed until there is mastery shown.  And, how many 'disappointed' kids were at the last testing.  Skating teaches persistence.   To no avail.   Mom really thought that daughter spent  10 weeks in a class, and it's the coach's fault if her daughter couldn't do it.   So, they stopped skating.  I don't know how to change a parent's expectations.

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Re: Delusional Parent Disorder
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2015, 08:42:28 PM »
Unfortunately I see this carry over into college… I would get occasional calls/visits from parents certain that their kid got a grade they didn't deserve, and it must be the fault of the instructor.  It transfers to the students, too, sometimes.  Several instances this year of complaints that the "whole class" isn't doing well, therefore the instructor must be doing something wrong, and therefore Something Must Be Done.  Sigh.  Some of them have never been held accountable for their own performance.  (And usually their perception that the "whole class" is failing is incorrect…)

Offline Loops

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Re: Delusional Parent Disorder
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2015, 12:41:57 AM »
Yup and it's already in full swing by ninth-grade!

Offline riley876

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Re: Delusional Parent Disorder
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2015, 02:25:53 AM »
Skating teaches persistence.   To no avail.   Mom really thought that daughter spent  10 weeks in a class, and it's the coach's fault if her daughter couldn't do it.   So, they stopped skating.  I don't know how to change a parent's expectations.

I think unrealistic expections are the cultural norm sadly.   At least for my generation anyway.  It's part of the general cultural milieu.  Cracked.com did a fantastic (possibly NSFW) article on it: http://www.cracked.com/article_18544_how-the-karate-kid-ruined-modern-world.html

These parents somehow expect kids to pop out of the "30 second training montage" all expert like.  Because that's the only story they know.

I'd bet those parents never themselves had to knuckle down and learn something hard (i.e. put thousands of hours into something).   Most people these days get by with little more than token effort given to any task, even getting through college in many cases on an "intellectual shoestring".   I'm sure I'd still be like that too,  if I hadn't have stumbled upon the very difficult pursuit of Lindy Hop to give me a painful growing up experience (before I started skating).   I believe that's the only way people like this will be fixed.   Painful personal experience to recalibrate their estimations.

Offline Query

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Re: Delusional Parent Disorder
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2015, 11:39:33 AM »
Lots of high priced coaches take full economic advantage of DPD, as well as DSD (Delusional Skater Disorder)...  :)

Is DPD any worse than parents who just assume their kid can't be very good to start with?

Offline Neverdull44

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Re: Delusional Parent Disorder
« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2015, 01:35:07 PM »
OMG, I suffer from DSD, especially in my dreams where I do effortless triple jumps.