coaches personal question please

[falen]

We have an important religious event this year.  DD wants to ask her coach to be her sponser in this event.  She is the same religions, but I think it may be above and beyond/ awkward.  It is usually an honor to be asked and former teachers are sometimes asked.

[AgnesNitt]

I agree with you. It would be awkward. If the coach went to the same church/temple I could see it. But just because the coach is the same religion it's not enough.

Children don't seem to realize that a relationship with a coach is a business relationship. If in the future you decide to move to another coach, having the coach as  sponsor for a religious event would make that harder. A former coach, it might be less awkward though.

[falen]

thanks for reply

I will definitely try to explain to her about the business aspect of it.  I think a coach needs to be impartial.  it brings to mind the Slayer/watcher from Buffy the Vampire Slayer...Giles had a father's affection for the slayer wich clouded his responsibilities, when it should had been a business relationship.

[FigureSpins]

Most religions suggest that anyone in a Godparent/Sponsor role should be close to the family, either as a member or a very dear friend.  There's also usually a "practicing" clause: before I could become my niece's godmother, I had to present a written acknowledgement that I was a practicing Catholic.  It's a sacrament, so it's not supposed to be taken lightly.

I don't get the feeling that your family has a really close relationship with the coach outside of skating.  That's a tenuous situation: one move, marriage/divorce or coaching change and that link of being a sponsor is broken.

I know several couples whose close friends (at the time) were chosen as Baptismal godparents for children; in one case, they were godparents to each others' children.  Unfortunately, only a few are still close friends; most no longer see each other and are now strangers to the children.  ActuTsame is true of my twins' godparents, who were married couples.  One set of godparents are divorced now.  The second godfather passed away unexpectedly and his widow converted to another denomination.  She's engaged to be married next year, which is wonderful for their new family.  (DH is her daughter's godfather.) 

We're still friendly with all of the surviving godparents, but we see our oldest DD's godparents far more often since they're my sister and BIL.  That's the main advantage of asking a family member - most people stay in contact with family, even if they don't like each other, lol. 

On the other hand, my late MIL's best friend was in her wedding party, became DH's Godmother, "stood up" for him at Confirmation, and witnessed our wedding certificate. She's still part of our lives at 90+ years of age - in fact, DH is visiting her this weekend.

[falen]

well we don't have much family that would be acceptable.  most are not practicing and 2 are now atheist.

[fsk8r]

I think if the idea has come from your daughter and she wants her coach to be her sponsor at the event, there's no reason why your daughter can't ask the coach. The event is of significance to your daughter so her choosing a sponsor is helping her make the event special. While you might not have a particularly close relationship with your coach, your daughter obviously values her to have thought to ask her. Whether her coach is able to commit the time necessary to sponsor her is a decision her coach would have to make, but I think the coach will be highly flattered to be asked.

(I know when my sister first started school it was fashionable to invite the class teacher to the party. My parents had never heard of this before, but went with the invite on my sister's insistance. The teacher was flattered, was gracious enough to show up briefly to the party and took over a round of pass the parcel from my parents. She said that she got quite a few invites to parties from her young charges. Looking back, I thought it was so nice of the teacher to give up her free time for her pupils who so looked up to her that they wanted her at their party.)

[clovely]

I don't think it would be awkward. Sure, it's a "business relationship" but that's between me and the coach, not ds and coach. I consider her more of a partner, though, certainly not an "employee". Seeing others in our rink, I do think we're very fortunate to have our coach. She's very invested in my daughter. Dealing with children or teenagers can never really be "all business". She's rightfully very concerned about her friends, relationships, and attitude as they all affect her progress and focus. If we hadn't changed schools this year, she'd be having a big eighth grade graduation in the spring (big deal at the old school, doubt the new school will do it). We would definitely have invited the coach -probably even our rink director (who has never officially coached her, only tweaked some things at coach's request). Sure, I pay a hefty price for her precious time and expertise, but we consider her an extension of our family and certainly an authority in daughter's life.