skatingforums
On the Ice => Sitting on the Boards Rink Side => Topic started by: Sierra on December 06, 2010, 05:29:11 PM
-
So today I lost an hour of ice time. And the only reason I skated at all is because I had a lesson. And my mother even said she was tempted to just pay my coach and not take me at all. The ice time wasn't as productive as it could be, either, because I was upset, shaky and holding back tears.
I'm homeschooled and do work online. The gist of it is, I got behind in my work. I had about seven or eight assignments to catch up on- some of those were oral exams. The week I was supposed to do the oral exams on, I was unable to because on the day I was going to call the teacher for it, the school site went down. Some of the schoolwork being behind was actually my fault alone, but I had already planned out my schoolwork for this week so it'd all be caught up before Wednesday.
This is the first time all semester that I have slipped up and gotten behind. The entire semester, I've gotten A's in everything except math, in which I have an 89% in. The teachers have raved over my schoolwork and I've been on pace the whole time. And the first time I slip up, my mother starts yelling at me and takes away my ice time, which is a drastic punishment.
So on the way to the ice rink I tried to calmly point out that I had been good all semester and that I had just slipped up for a couple of weeks, and that I had already caught up some of the work today. I then pointed out that my brother(who did public school) would sometimes get C's, do projects the night before they were due & even skipped school, yet he would never get anything taken away. I reminded her that I had taken care of the horses and done the dishes to help her save time.
My mother responded by telling me how much attitude I had about skating, and how much 'sacrifice' she made to get me to the rink. She then complained about having to take me skating and having to pay for it and having other things to do. She told me how pissed off she was that I had disregarded schoolwork. By this point I was in tears- and believe me, it takes a lot to put me in tears.
Yes, I do sometimes get annoyed/attitudey with her over skating. But what can I do? I've tried and tried to make her understand that skating is my sport, not a hobby, and that coaching is going to be my future career. I have tried to negotiate and be reasonable, but I'm at my wit's end. I have not received any sort of recognition or reward for my schoolwork being so well done in my first semester of high school. Instead, I receive punishment. It's always negativity with her- never positivity. The entire time today she was nasty toward me.
Parents- what would you have done? Is it okay to complain about skating to your child's face, and to put a mature teenager in tears?
I've tried talking to her, which always ends in a fight. I've tried to show that I'm willing to help out any way I can- I've even made dinner. I just don't know what to do. I'm incredibly upset and I'm more afraid than ever that I might be forced to just quit skating.
-
Sierra,
You do need a little TLC. ((hug)).
This probably isn't what you want to hear but...You will be a teenager for just a very short part of your life. The situation is only temporary. Of course, you'll always figure skate because it is what you've chosen for yourself. You must try to find it in yourself to be patient and remember that for the rest of your days you will be responsible for your own life.
In the meantime, how about getting all those assignments done just to keep your Mom off your back? :D
-
(((((Sierra)))))
As the roller skating daughter of very supportive parents, and the mom of two figure skating daughters, now grown, I'm really sorry to hear that you and your mom do not see eye to eye on something so important to you. I suspect that your mom is worried that you will not complete your education, or will choose to pursue a career in figure skating instead of more serious academic goals such as grad school, med school, etc.
I suggest that instead of constantly butting heads with her on coaching being your future, you back off, and allow her to see the effort you are making and excellent results you are getting in your school work. I'm not saying to stop skating or even to skate less, just don't make it an issue. You haven't said if you plan to go to college. If you are thinking of skipping college and going straight into coaching, that would probably make your mom crazy. If you do plan college, you could let your mom know why skating is still a good thing: skating is healthy and relieves stress, there is no higher paying job for a college student, scholarships may be available for synchro. I would not bring this up in a conversation about skating. The right time would be in a conversation about college, so skating would be subordinate to education.
-
I am very sure you will not like my answer.
If my kids that skate every day were behind, you bet the first thing to go would be skating.If you really wanted to skate that bad, YOU would make sure your schoolwork would be done.
From her point of view.
You are 14
You have been skating for a year or so.
You want to coach.
Do you know how many times your goals will change from now till you are 40? Yes, you want to coach. Next year it could be you want to sky dive or travel to Japan. That is how 14, 15, 16, 20, 25 year olds think and act.
Do you really know what coaching entails? Do you really know how hard it is? Do you really think you can support yourself when the economy flops and skating is the first to go?What happens when you have two students and one breaks her leg? Stops skating? Goes to another coach?
My daughter has wanted to coach since she was 5.She is 11 now.She and her brother are helpers with our Learn to Skate.Yes, I can see her coaching when she is older. She has skated more than half her life already.But if she got behind in school, Damm straight she wouldlose what matters to her.[r
-
If you really want to do this, she needs to see you make a honest effort. You have to do your school work,and not have an teen attitude .You have to do everything you can to get to the rink, test, and move up the ladder.
Good luck!
-
I am pretty sure I want to coach. I've been teaching my mother since April. Yes, it could change. It feels much different than when I decided I wanted to be a vet/author/etc. I understand where you're coming from, though.
I am going to college. I'm planning on a business degree, because I can get a lot of jobs with that if the coaching falls out. I'm going to do dual enrollment in my junior and senior years because it'll save money and make Mom happy (and the college is two miles away from the rink :laugh:).
But to get into dual, I need a certain SAT score. So I have to take the SATs when I'll be barely two years into high school. I am really doing a lot of dedicated work just to please my parents. Most teenagers would not do that, yet it goes unrecognized.
Everyone's input is really comforting. In a year or so maybe it won't be so bad. It won't be long before I can drive myself. It does make a lot of sense to lay low for a while. My biggest fear is that she'll just get fed up and either make me quit or cut me back down to once-a-week group lessons, and that would just kill me. When something happens that threatens my skating, I immediately go into constant stress and tension.
-
I I am really doing a lot of dedicated work just to please my parents. Most teenagers would not do that, yet it goes unrecognized.
This really has nothing to do with skating, but if you are doing advanced coursework and trying to start college early you should be doing it for *you*. I used to pull that card with my mom and she would always say that its my work and that I shouldn't do it to please her it should be for all for me. She had this little speech she would do but I can't remember it now or I would totally give it to you Sierra.
Honestly your situation is not all that uncommon. I had a similar thing with my mom and dad and since it was my hobby I had to pay for it and I know teenagers at the rink I'm at now with similar situations and I had a friend that I skated with who had the same thing as me and you. My skating really started to take off when I was 17 and I worked and paid my own skating bills.
-
Sierra:
Your education is the most important thing you can have. Skating will always be there, but you do not have a chance to go back and re-do those mess ups with high school or with college. Use your time now to learn as much as you can in many different subjects. Yes, you can dual enroll and "get done" with college quicker (and perhaps for less money), but will you learn as much? I don't think so. College is more than just classes. College is an experience and there are many things you can do to reduce the cost of college. Study and get good grades and apply for scholarships. Also, do not just get a business degree because that is where you think the money is or where the easy jobs are. When you go to college, look for classes you WANT to take, subjects you want to learn about. With your interest in skating, maybe you want to be PT or a PA or athletic trainer, or want to go into sport management. There are many ways to take something you are interested it, and take it one step further.
I agree with icefrog. You need to be doing this for you and not for your mother. Right now, as a 14 year old young woman, your "job" is school. Us adults spend 8+ hours a day at a job...for you, your job is to learn as much as you can. Take advantage of that.
You need to have a goal, and the vague, "I want to coach" goal won't really cut it. Not many people can make a full time job out of coaching. And to get to that point takes years and years and years.
And I'm sorry to say, that the taking away of the ice time is appropriate if you are not completing the requirements of your "job." If you cannot finish what you are required to do, then the extras need go. I have had that conversations with many a student staff member...if you cannot succeed at school, the other stuff needs to go so you can focus on your academics.
I apologize if this reply doesn't make the most sense in the world. My thoughts are all over the place with how to respond and I am having troubles writing down everything that is in my head about this...
-
I have had, and I will have, the same sort of conversations with my teenagers. At 14, they are not adults; they are adolescents. If they are not fulfilling the "needs" and achieving their potential, it is my responsibility as a parent to step in and put them back on track.
Skating will wait. School moves on. The marks you achieve become part of your permanent record. If you have academic goals, you need to focus on them from day one; also, knowledge cumulates. What you don't learn in Grade 9 becomes a problem in Grade 10, etc.
In terms of becoming a coach: I suggest that you investigate thoroughly your chosen career. Interview coaches; ask them about their work schedules, their challenges, their training and the ups and downs of the profession. Ask them how many years it takes to make a living at it. Investigate the required training; look at earnings and paygrades. Then, figure out how much you need to live on and your desired lifestyle. Consider whether this is a feasible profession.
Then, actually work as a coach in some manner. Coaching your mother is not the same thing as working with children, adolescents, their parents and other professionals. My daughter amateur coaches at a high level, as does my son. They found it very different than they expected before they moved to this level. The hardest part was not the coaching of the skills; it was dealing with the personalities (skater and parent), the logistics, and the politics.
Maybe you'll be a great coach, but, as a teacher, I see many students who believe fervently that they have chosen the perfect profession and then discover through a work placement - not so good a choice. Of course, this is also better than the students who go with that first choice and then discover later in life that they've made a choice that wasn't righ tfor them. AT 14, you should be exploring a range of options, and not limiting yourself.
-
Sierra, you should go thank your mother for pointing out what is most important.....your education. You're a student first, skater second. At least that's how it "should" be!!! Your assignments come first. Skating is a privilege whether you're a competitive skater or just recreational.
Your mother has every right to beat it into your head that education comes first. I know it sucks, but it's the truth! Make sure you're caught up on all your school work and your ice time will be much more productive in the future!!!
-
Echoing what many others have said here, your education comes first. I also second the recommendation of researching what coaching as a profession is all about. My own daughter plans on being a career coach. The difference is that she is 21, in college majoring in exercise science, and has passed her Senior tests. She is coaching now, and making good money for a college student, but not nearly enough to support herself. Her father and I still pay her living expenses and insurance. To be a coach, you need to carry liability insurance and buy your own health insurance. It's also good (and necessary at some rinks) to register as a coach with US Figure Skating and belong to the Professional Skaters Association. There are fees associated with this, as well as for the continuing education requirements that coaches fulfill annually. Find out what all those costs will be, and calculate how many lessons you'll need to teach to pay them off before you start making any profit. And keep in mind that some rinks require you to pay them a commission on each lesson you teach. Oh, and taxes - if you're self employed, you'll need to set aside enough to pay taxes, too.
All the coaches I know except one have other jobs in addition to coaching. That one works at several rinks, which are as much as 2 1/2 hours apart from each other. He pretty much lives in his car. He does not have a luxurious lifestyle, by any means. And he has both skated and coached at the Olympics.
My daughter will likely do as her own coaches have done - either get married and coach part time while raising a family, or coach in addition to holding down another job that pays most of the bills and provides benefits.
-
The thing is, the schoolwork was already being caught up (and at the moment is completely caught up). Part of it was out of my control (site went down, was unable to study for the oral exam, could not move on in course without oral exam). Because I skate so little for my level, an hour is a huge hit to my weekly progress. Had the skating been on today or Wednesday, I most likely would not have lost the skating. And the accompanied nastiness and remarks from Mom were unnecessary.
It is partly for skating because dual enrollment & a scholarship will save money, which in turn can be used toward skating. In Florida, scholarships are rampant, with that lottery system thing they have. My brother- who has nowhere near the GPA I do- got a 60% scholarship. Since the two years of dual will be basic classes, it'll pretty much be what I'm doing now- composition, algebra and such. I have been thinking about some sort of sports science classes, too. But at the moment, I really can't think of anything I'd rather do.
I would give anything to be able to support my own skating. I buy my own skates & blades, plus extras such as dresses and gel sleeves. But there is absolutely no way, no how I could ever pay for lessons & ice time. I've applied at Publix, but there is no other job opportunities out there for people my age.
I do understand the taxes & fees & possibility of needing another job. And I will continue thinking it out over the next four or five years. I'm planning to ask my coach the age limit for junior coaches- I would have asked her yesterday, but forgot, due to having other things on my mind. I have plenty of time to continue putting my future together. Before skating, I wanted to be an equine veterinarian. My mother never mentioned the years of medical training and the difficulty of starting up and getting patients. Strange.
I look at other mothers in the rink- ones that sit for four hours in the lobby and ones that ask for updates from the coach- and wonder what happened with my mother. She's more of a distant billpayer. I can't think of the last time she talked to my coach.
-
You seem very mature. If you just keep being that way and working hard and keeping your anger in check, it will eventually fall into place.
-
Before skating, I wanted to be an equine veterinarian. My mother never mentioned the years of medical training and the difficulty of starting up and getting patients. Strange.
I look at other mothers in the rink- ones that sit for four hours in the lobby and ones that ask for updates from the coach- and wonder what happened with my mother. She's more of a distant billpayer. I can't think of the last time she talked to my coach.
If you have horses at home, then I'm assuming your mother is a horse lover and could relate to your previous idea of becoming an equine veterinarian, but cannot relate to your love of skating. If she doesn't like going to the rink and doesn't relate to your love of skating, then I could understand why she might feel resentful about having to drive you there and pay for it, and why she would be so willing to just pay for your lesson and not actually take you to it. *If* this is the case, there probably isn't anything you can do to change her attitude and you'll just have to continue to be an A+ student, be helpful at home, and give her no excuse to take away your skating. Sometimes we have to fight for what we love! (((HUG)))
-
If you have horses at home, then I'm assuming your mother is a horse lover and could relate to your previous idea of becoming an equine veterinarian, but cannot relate to your love of skating. If she doesn't like going to the rink and doesn't relate to your love of skating, then I could understand why she might feel resentful about having to drive you there and pay for it, and why she would be so willing to just pay for your lesson and not actually take you to it. *If* this is the case, there probably isn't anything you can do to change her attitude and you'll just have to continue to be an A+ student, be helpful at home, and give her no excuse to take away your skating. Sometimes we have to fight for what we love! (((HUG)))
I dont know if that is true for this mom or not. I dont skate, and lots of the moms I know dont skate.That has little to do with being supportive of my kids dreams and goals.
We dont know if the OP has been in a zillion things and not stuck to any or not. We dont know her, just like no one knows any of us. I am not saying this is true, just that we are hearing one side.I do think the OP gets ahead of herself alot, something common in an 14 year old.
If you test and do your schoolwork, help out with Learn to skate and listen to your mom maybe she would support you more.
-
Yep- we have horses at home. She's been in horsey stuff all her life.
She actually skates herself, and is happy for herself when she finally 'gets' something. Somehow it doesn't transfer to my skating. I mean, she supports me at competitions.. and such.. but is very distant from the actual training & practice itself. If you asked her to name the jumps I'm working on now, she would have no clue.
I've never done any other sport or extracurricular activity besides recreational horseback riding. I pretty much started doing stuff when I began homeschooling two years ago. 4-h, dance & skating. 4-h doesn't cost anything, dance was drifted out of (partly mom's decision), and skating.. well, see where we are now. :laugh:
But you're completely right. It's hard to judge and solve problems without really knowing me or my mother.
I do use the 'give her no excuse' philosophy, but the tiniest crack, and there goes my skating. :bash
-
Sierra, this may come as a shock to you, but adults have problems too. Your mother may have some concerns that as an adult she is concealing from you. She may be doing this since she wants your life to be happy. Unfortunately, even well meaning adults can vent on the nearest person that they love very much, and since they can't tell you what their own concerns are, they erupt over over trivial things unrelated to their problem.
Your mother could have concerns about her health, or money, or legal issues, or any of a number of problems that would never occur to a teenager. It may not be about you. I know, shocker.
If I were you, I'd get off skating forums and do my homework. Oh, and don't go to Facebook either.
-
Yep- we have horses at home. She's been in horsey stuff all her life.
She actually skates herself, and is happy for herself when she finally 'gets' something. Somehow it doesn't transfer to my skating. I mean, she supports me at competitions.. and such.. but is very distant from the actual training & practice itself. If you asked her to name the jumps I'm working on now, she would have no clue.
I've never done any other sport or extracurricular activity besides recreational horseback riding. I pretty much started doing stuff when I began homeschooling two years ago. 4-h, dance & skating. 4-h doesn't cost anything, dance was drifted out of (partly mom's decision), and skating.. well, see where we are now. :laugh:
But you're completely right. It's hard to judge and solve problems without really knowing me or my mother.
I do use the 'give her no excuse' philosophy, but the tiniest crack, and there goes my skating. :bash
Hmm. . . If your mom enjoys skating enough to skate herself, then that might not be it. Like AgnesNitt said, it could be other stresses in her life that are weighing on her (finances? lack of time to do the things she would like to do for herself? other things you might not know about?). It is hard to tell without hearing both sides of it and knowing about you both. But it does sound like she has high expectations of you, and you should try to see that as a compliment. If she expects you to get A's, it's because she knows you are smart enough to do it and that you are capable of successfully juggling your time between skating and school. Wishing you the best!
-
For what it's worth, I'm graduating from college in two days, this past semester I really learned how to balance my skating and my schoolwork, I made time for everything, granted I had a lot of very late nights, yet my mom still said I was spending too much time skating. However, I'm looking at it from my end, I'm paying for EVERYTHING skating related, I got a job at the ice rink to help with the costs, I am about to graduate college and skating was my much needed bi-weekly stress relief and I did a darn good job balancing everything and somehow only got sick this semester ONE time (when the weather first started going crazy in florida). My mom has yet to see me skate. I started back up a year and a half ago. She's gone to the barn to watch my sister ride, but she's not gone to the ice rink to see me skate. There's no favoritism, she's just not made it there.
However, I'm leaving for NYC in four days with my mom and my sister, and you can darn well bet that she will see me skate, and I don't me skating around the rink at Rockefeller and such, I mean doing my jumps and my spins.
I finally got program music, I told her, and I didn't even get much of a response. She supports my skating but she doesn't want me to put it before school and a job. However, I've also managed to get an internship that I'm doing well at, too, so she's getting better now that she realizes I'm not wasting my time just going to the rink. She's aware my job saves me $18 a week on skating. The only skating related thing she is paying for in the next few months is a new pair of skates for my birthday because mine are 8 years old and don't fit correctly anymore. :)
So, coming from a college student, soon-to-be graduate, your mom is looking at this from the standpoint that while skating is your sport, it's still your hobby. Coaching may be a job for you someday but right now school is your job and doing well in school is your job. Skating is your stress relief.
-
I should add, too, that I didn't go skating at ALL last week because I started my internship and had to finish things for my portfolio and she saw that. It killed me because I needed to skate, but it was well worth it on Saturday (I finished with school on Friday) when we texted good morning and she asked what I was doing that day and I said "Going to the rink to skate" and she wrote back "Good :) Go have fun!"
She supports it in different ways and I think will be a little more supportive now that I don't have to balance my schoolwork along with it. :)
-
Yes, it could be something else. But why take it out on me? She does complain a lot about not having time, but she works part-time three days a week and is home by 2. Financials are a worry, but we're very, very far away from being booted out or anything. And then it could be something I don't know about.. Parents are supposed to be there for their kids.
I wish she would have high expectations for my skating. It's great that she has lots of ambition for me, especially since she never went to college.
That's great, davinsicoprano. Congratulations. You're my new role model. Do you live by yourself? Maybe she will be more supportive once I show that I can handle high school? Next year will actually be easier because I'll have completed my foreign language credits (did the first credit while still in middle school).
She's the same way.. I don't get much response. I think I stopped telling her what jumps I landed sometime back around my lutz.
-
Yes, it could be something else. But why take it out on me? She does complain a lot about not having time, but she works part-time three days a week and is home by 2. Financials are a worry, but we're very, very far away from being booted out or anything. And then it could be something I don't know about.. Parents are supposed to be there for their kids.
I wish she would have high expectations for my skating. It's great that she has lots of ambition for me, especially since she never went to college.
That's great, davinsicoprano. Congratulations. You're my new role model. Do you live by yourself? Maybe she will be more supportive once I show that I can handle high school? Next year will actually be easier because I'll have completed my foreign language credits (did the first credit while still in middle school).
She's the same way.. I don't get much response. I think I stopped telling her what jumps I landed sometime back around my lutz.
That is a little hard to understand for me, too, but parents are imperfect people just like everyone else, so sometimes they will disappoint you or fall short of your expectations (I could tell you stories about my father when I was a teenager. . . and well into my adulthood! Ugh!). There will always be some things about you that your parents don't relate to, and you may just need to get that support and understanding from other people in your life instead. That's why we have our skating friends! :angel:
-
^^^^
Hmmm ... I work and am home by 3:30 daily - not too late. Yet, my daughter is expected to cook proper, home-cooked meals 4 to 5 times a week; do housework; babysit her younger sibling; has a part-time job, skates 5 days a week, and maintains a very high average in a demanding fast-tracked academic program. She also is well aware of our family finances and what is reasonable in terms of expectations for spending. She has maintained this since age 14 (and before). My son has similar expectations (at age 14).
I have a great deal of respect for her, and so do others. I am constantly told of how mature, responsible, sensitive and thoughtful she is. She is on track for preferential admission to post-secondary schools in part due to her reputation in the community and to her extra-curricular activities. I do know that she would never criticize me publicly, and would defend me to others faithfully, even if she disagreed with me, because that's loyalty to family. She would also not discuss our family finances publicly. In return, we offer her the same respect. I wonder how your mother would feel if she knew you were posting complaints about her in a public forum? Remember that everything on the internet is public.
In terms of your parents being there for you ... sounds like they are, just, maybe not in the way you want.
-
Awww Sierra, you're making me blush. :) I live with two roommates and luckily my parents do pay for my rent and utilities (long story involving very unclean dorms and a crazy roommate situation in said dorms and a period where I was consistently sick for two months straight because said roommates would do the nasty in the shower and not clean thus staph infection for me and letting their friend sleep in my bed when I was out of town once... yeah....). But as far as skating goes, minus new skates I'm getting for my birthday, I pay for it all myself, lessons, freestyle time, clothes, etc. The only thing I didn't pay for was a jacket mom got me for work because I've been the scorekeeper the last two months and it's darn cold in there!
If you can show her that you can balance schoolwork among other things you should be ok. :) I went skating today and neglected my bedroom which looks like a bomb went off (thank you portfolio) and I just need to completely purge it. But that's a several day long process and I just didn't have any energy this week. I needed a break. :) Sooooo needless to say when she comes up tomorrow for my portfolio show, she won't be setting foot in my bedroom, my apartment, yes, but bedroom, no. She knows I had all those projects and needed to relax, but after we get back from NYC next week relax time is over and it's prioritizing and figuring out an updated work schedule so I can balance skating, internship, AND work. My only thing now is I'm going to make sure I take off Saturdays because 1) it's public skate night and my anxiety goes from 0-60 in less than a minute when I have to keep watch of over 200 people and 2) that's when my friends go out and I want to be able to have a social life rather than being stuck at work until 11pm and then so exhausted from watching all those people that I can't go out and relax.
I have faith in you, Sierra, just show your mom you can balance everything and NEVER let skating get ahead of school no matter how much you want it to. If you have to cut back the skating just a tad to catch up on schoolwork so be it, trust me when I say that skating knowing you don't have anything due is totally worth it.
-
Of course, now that I think of it, she can be a great mom, until skating comes along. :)
I am aware that it's a public forum- which is why I take great pains to never give any sort of clue what region of Florida I live in, or my rink name, or my name, or my coach's name, and such. To all of you, my mother and I are anonymous faces. And I do need somewhere to rant, or ask for guidance, and frankly, my teenage friends just don't understand. And I'm not posting teen things like "I have an awful mom who hates me" :laugh:
Can I be your daughter? I want a part time job and 5-day a week skating. I'm probably going to have to wait until 16-18 to be able to find any sort of job. I do weekly housework, ever since last spring pretty much. If I tried to cook dinner five days a week, some part of the kitchen would get hurt. :) Not the most coordinated cook.
Ick. :(
Great job- and good luck with your room. Next month I'm going to be skating alot because of an unlimited card that was raffled off to us (my brother will be taking me). With that month, I can show her that I can handle schoolwork even under extreme skating conditions (I'll be prepping my pig for county fair, too.)
-
Sierra... my older 2 kids are homeschooled(including my skater!). This is a our first year homeschooling and so I worry about many things, one of those being I want my kids to succeed! I can see your mom's point and I don't think it was a bad thing to make you loose a day of skating so you could work on your school work. Eventhough you say you had done well balancing life and skating, you did get behind. I imagine your mom was trying to make a point and wanted to use that experience as a learning experience for you. Because she DID keep you from skating that day, you now know she will absolutely follow through on any threat she places before you. Your mom knows how important skating is to you... that is why she is able to use it to help you to do your work. I am not saying you don't have a right to be upset... you do. BUT try to look at it from your mom's prespective... all she sees are your grades slipping and obviously she felt skating was the culprit. Just keep things in order form now on and it sounds like your skating will not be interupted. Considering she was willing to pay your lesson fee... even when you weren't there for the lesson, leads me to believe she was absolutely wanting to make a point. I know I am hard pressed to pay for a lesson or ice time that isn't being used by dd. :) Mom to a 12 y/o skater and a 15 y/o teenage boy(oh and a cute almost 10 year old boy too!)!
-
If I may chirp in as not a parent but from a young adult's perspective - when I was 12 I already knew what I wanted to do for a career, so it's certainly not impossible to know very young. I wasn't sure I'd do it with all the pressure from mom, but I knew it was what I wanted.
However, I kept my options open as long as I could (at one point, my health started interfering). Ya betcha butt off my mom wasn't happy with my choice (even though it's a very respectable sort of field and requires a university education and all that). She thought I should choose something in which there is *always* a job as opposed to almost always... Point is, stand up for what you wanna do but don't rub it in her face and keep your options open. Parents really like that. More over, it'd be good for you too, to go to college. You can have a coaching career after that - it's only four years or so, or the difference between 18 and 22 or so (not 100% sure on the US system). Point is, it's peanuts, but it will make sure that if your coaching thing doesn't work out - or doesn't work out as a full time job - you have skills to fall back on. You won't end up jobless on unemployment/disability because you had a car accident and never quite recovered for instance, since it's much harder to mess up your head than it is to mess up your body.
BTW in university, if I had projects that needed finishing - that was what I did. I didn't go skating because in the end that one day of skating is not going to matter but re-taking a course? That is going to matter. Sometimes I picked subjects I didn't really want to do just so I could have enough credits (subjects were split into groups and you had to pick at least 1 subject from each group) and still make an empty early afternoon skating session. I've skated after all-nighters and nearly-all-nighters, that's acceptable since you've just turned in your paper and you can get the reward of skating (even if it'll be an easy moves session). I've even worked through a night and then slept for 3 hours and off to the rink I was, just to finish in time to go skating, since the deadline would be much later that day. But the point is the common denominator in that is, you do the school stuff first and then you skate. If you can't plan around the skating, then a skating session gets dropped. That's part of what being responsible is about, you have to learn to make choices (even if those "choices" still appear nuts to everyone around you since the "sane" choice to them would be to get a good night's sleep and finish just before the deadline and never go skate). Took me a while to find the balance too, the grades definitely suffered when on top of it all I decided to undertake other extracurricular activities. But you know what, the skating suffered then too, probably even more. It was just a temporary blip in my grades though, barely noticeable on my bachelor's degree, by the time I was doing the master's degree my grades were back up to cum laude level again. It had to be, because with a finished master's I knew my bachelor's degree wouldn't be as important anyway. So I knew I could mess up on the BA but not on the master.
Your parents probably have their hopes on you going to a very good college (as opposed to your brother, who's not getting good grades by your account) and getting a very good education and a very *satisfactory* and intellectually challenging job and well off too, and they're now worried that with your skating, that may not come true. Higher abilities come with higher expectations sweetie, just the way it is. And btw, nothing is quite as mind numbening and depressing as working at a supermarket or doing some other job that can be done by a machine almost as well...
-
Interesting... mindnumbing to work in retail? I work in retail(you said grocery) and I know other college educated individuals who work in retail.My cousin's wife works at a grocery store and is college educated. Don't assume everyone who works a "mindnumbing" job is uneducated. I have a nursing dimploma... in the end it just wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. I ended up getting married at 22, had my 1st child a few yrs sooner then planned and motherhood became a priority. My "mindnumbing" job works with my busy mom schedule. No, it is not what I thought I would be doing at this stage of my life, but in the end, I will have raised 3 beautiful children and honestly... that is a gift I would never return. I know you did not mean to be insulting. In fact, I think you were trying to help the OP understand why a college education is important. I agree, education IS important but don't be so fast to judge and assume someone working in a grocery store is uneducated. JMO :)
-
Okay, I'll ask the $64 question: Sierra, what does your father think about your grades and skating?
I get the feeling your mom's a single parent. If that's the case, get off her case.
-
You know, it's hard to say. I could tell you you're focusing on skating too much. I could tell you school is more important. Yada yada. But, I don't know your whole situation.
I was a bad student. Not un-smart, mind you (I once got yelled at by a college rep at a college fair when he found out the discrepancy between my ACT score and GPA), just didn't apply myself. I had a lot of outside activities, but they were NOT the reason I didn't feel like doing my homework; if I did nothing but sit at home all night every night, it wouldn't have made me do my homework. Perhaps that is why I can't recall my mom ever "punishing" me by taking away my other activities, because she knew I was lazy, not overworked.
I get that you need to do your homework, and I'll tell you that for sure. But, I do think your mom is being unfair to complain about your skating. If she wants you to not skate, then she needs to say "no, you're not skating, we're not paying for it, we're not taking you there," and make that the end of it. But if she wants to allow you to, then she can't complain about it every minute. My mom was like that sometimes and it drove me nuts. She'd say, "yes, you can spend the night at your friend's house" but then the whole drive there she'd complain about it. THEN JUST SAY NO! It's no good to tell someone they can do something and then make it very clear that you didn't want them to do something but didn't have the chutzpah to say no. Granted, some kids are whiners and the parents think it's easier to give in, but it's still the parents' choice to do so, and trying to guilt-trip the kid doesn't do a lot of good, at least as far as I've seen.
So yes, I've said it. When it comes to complaining, I think your mom was in the wrong. Also as far as when it comes to holding you and your brother to different standards. I understand why people do it--once someone sets a "pattern," they're held to it (which is why people are often advised not to set a pattern of being an overachiever--whether at work or school or elsewhere--lest they always be expected to be perfect). I understand that in some instances, people just work to the best of their strengths and their strengths aren't equal. And yes, perhaps you are just smarter than your brother. But when it comes to effort, I'm sorry, but there is no discrepancy in strengths. I tell you this AS someone who's prone to be lazy and unambitious. There was nothing stopping me back in high school from getting stuff done as well as the next person. I had no deficiency of intelligence or physical ability or maturity or what-have-you...just lazy. So I give him no pass there on not getting stuff done, either, and she should totally be holding you both to the same standard there.
Mind you, I'm not trying to take sides. I don't know you, your mom, or your actual situation. But I saw a lot of people getting down on you, and I wanted to point out that I don't think you're 100% in the wrong here.
-
I have a father who is very happily married to my mother. I don't know what he thinks of skating.. he doesn't really have much input into it. He likes to watch me, and is more interested in the jumps & spins he sees me do than my mom is.
I feel like he has no option regarding my skating and schoolwork. Of course, I can't know for sure, but it's always an immediate no.. it's never 'I'll discuss with your dad.'
My mother was worried about the same thing- whether I'd have the same opportunities and success in homeschooling. This is my third year, and I've done great. My virtual school is one of the top rated schools in my state, so colleges readily accept the credits from the courses. She now tells everybody how great homeschooling is.
I learned a long, long time ago she follows through on threats.. which is why I was already working on catching the work up before she decided to go check on it and start yelling at me.
I'm definitely, absolutely going to college, because if I don't I will regret it later. But I'm not going to go get some eight-year degree in some highly specialized field.
My brother's actually getting much better grades in college. He just didn't in high school. :)
My mother is always telling me that I should go to a college with an ice program. Like this one in Virginia with a synchro team and a freeskate team. I have no clue where she got that idea- especially since she knows I can't stand teams, especially synchro.
Thank you, Kat!! Great for somebody to recognize that it's wrong for parents to do that.
-
Some schools with Freeskate teams just have some private sessions for the team members, like club ice. They practice together and compete in Collegiate Competitions if the skater chooses too. Thats my understanding of it anyway. Its a great way to get cheap ice and meet skaters from your school. I wish my school had it!
-
Sierra, here's something to think about. If you were on a high school basketball team, if you fell behind in your school work - it wouldn't be your mother telling you, you couldn't practice or play in the game. It would be your coaches. I see coaches bench players all of the time because the "student-athlete" was falling behind in their studies. Skating is a privilege, not a right. If you blow off your schooling because all you want to do is skate, where will you be?
As a parent of a competitive skater, I don't think I'd ever place my child with a coach that didn't or wasn't working on his/her education in some shape or form. Do you need a college degree to coach? Absolutely not. Are there great coaches that have never gotten farther than a high school degree? Probably. However a college education does more than just give you a few book smarts here and there. It provides you with an education in independence, responsibility, time management, and ultimately communication. Four characteristics that are MUCH needed in the world of figure skating coaches. It also provides a safety net so to speak. If coaching isn't right for you, you have something to fall back. If you ever decide you would like to become a skating director of a rink, a college degree would be a bonus, if not a requirement.
These are things to think about when you're young. Your mother wants whats best for you. If she didn't, she wouldn't have cared if you fell behind in school!!! I remember being your age and thinking my mother didn't care what I wanted, didn't understand me, etc... I think we all feel that same way about our mothers during the teen years. However, eventually you'll get to the point and actually thank her for caring!
I'm not your parent but I will tell you what I say to my younger daughter - if your grades drop or you slack off in school, skating stops until you're on track again. She's working on her double axel combo's......first competition in March.....does not have the luxury of taking time off. However, as a parent - I will enforce my threats if she starts slacking! It's my first priority as a mother to keep her priorities in check! She's a straight A student without too much effort on her part. It's easy to tell if she's slacking!!! HAHA
Keep your chin up! a day of lost ice time is nothing to fret about :)
-
I did better in college too. To be honest with you, I found college easier! I don't know if that said something about my college, my high school, or just the fact that I didn't have to take EVERY class EVERY day and therefore had more free time to do schoolwork and such (and not homework in every class every night). Or maybe it's just that I had more of a choice of which classes to take so I was able to take stuff that was more interesting to me.
-
Of course I'm not going to blow off my schooling. I just wish I wasn't held to the standard of perfection. I actually had a B last year, but since this is high school, all of a sudden A's matter a lot more..
There was a special recognition page on my club's website about one of the junior coaches who had tested all the way through Senior moves and freestyle. I showed it to my mother and told her that was one of my goals, testing up. Of course, I received no response.
-
Of course I'm not going to blow off my schooling. I just wish I wasn't held to the standard of perfection. I actually had a B last year, but since this is high school, all of a sudden A's matter a lot more..
Well, that's actually true. These days it's hard to get into a good college without having close to an A average. It's just gotten so much more competitive than it used to be.
-
Well, that's actually true. These days it's hard to get into a good college without having close to an A average. It's just gotten so much more competitive than it used to be.
Very good point. Sierra, I would suggest that you pull up the website of whatever program you are interested in studying in college (university?) and check their admission requirements - not the minimum ones, the ones that gain admission to the program. And, look at the expectations for scholarships. Then, work to that goal along with the skating, recognizing that if you practice managing your time wisely and well in high school, you'll be able to manage it well enough to skate in college/university.
-
On the subject of grades, Sierra you mentioned you're from Florida. Have you heard of the IB program? I went to a high school with that program and I knew a LOT of people in it with me who had above a 4.0 gpa couldn't get into the university of Florida. Now granted a lot of my high school did go there but a good number got deferred until spring and only a handful got it early admission. I however went to a smaller state school a bit north of that and got in with my gpa (it was above a 4.0 but not much) and was perfectly happy there. But I tried picking up skating again that year and trying to balance everything caused my grades and gpa to plummet.
So make sure you can manage your time better. I ended up waiting until my junior year before I started skating again. It ended up being worth it and I'm progressing much quicker than I ever did when I was younger but I've also known when to not skate bc of school.
Bless my coach that she put up with my crazy school schedule this semester and my changing my lesson days and skipping a week or two while I finished up school. I think promising to do synchro was a factor in her patience lol.
-
I looked at the specific degrees the college offered and was completely lost after about five minutes. Sorry. :-X
The Bright Futures scholarship that Florida runs is pretty lax in their requirements. My brother got about 60% coverage in tuition. He'd have gotten more, but his SAT was just under the minimum. I think they do it by levels, each level having a GPA and SAT requirement. Or something.
There was a girl down the street who was in IB. She went off to some prestigious college and plans to become an astronaut.
That's not who I am or what I want to do. I can't justify doing IB without an ulterior goal or motivation. I can't do IB and then go to a good, not great, college and get a generic degree. I want to be good enough, not extraordinary.
-
The International Baccaleurate program is a phenomenal educational opportunity; the quality of the education earned under it is internationally recognized and is of great benefit to those who are able to enroll it in and have the diligence to complete it. You have posted many times that school is easy and you easily achieve high grades; perhaps this is a program that you belong in. It is a perfect fit for highly intelligent students with a competitive drive who want to succeed. Not all of them become astronauts ... many just become well-rounded, well-educated, effective individuals who know how to manage their time and how to learn.
You need to revisit that website that you got lost in. If you do not know the target that you are after, you cannot stay on track. You need to know the requirements, or you may be in for a nasty surprise in a few years (I teach too many teens who have had that happen to them).
-
I’ve served as a faculty member representative on Admissions, and more importantly, Scholarship Committees. Let me preface my remarks, by noting that as a society we are now place huge educational demands on adolescents who, for a number of reasons (including lack of pre-frontal cortex maturity and synaptic density), cannot appreciate what they really need to do to gain admission to top universities and/or win scholarships. The system favors the privileged who can afford the time and money to access the necessary resources to help their kids succeed. It is a shame, because these are not necessarily the best students in college.
As for skating and college…
The advice you are getting reflects a pool of knowledge from experienced adults who know what it takes to write your own ticket. You want control over your life? In our society, you have to earn it.
Obviously, figure skating may help you gain admission to a college since the sport and the discipline required to do well suggests a good student. However, most of the scholarships (such as USFS and ISI funding) REQUIRE concrete, verifiable achievements. You will need to pass your tests and skate competitively. Moreover, if I were to encounter an application where the prospective student discussed his/her figure skating, I would feel more comfortable seeing some level of achievement (skated in Regionals; passed FS 5) and etc. (Sorry to sound cynical, but you would not believe the number of applicants who, ahem, exaggerate their sports background).
On a different note: Sierra, try to accept your Mother’s “indifference” to your skating. She is probably ambivalent for a number of reasons, most of which you have no ability to control. Teenagers all over the country want “ideal” Mothers—you are not alone (indeed, “idealization” is classic in adolescent psychology). Do what you can and try to roll with the punches. Look for a friend at the rink who is willing to provide the feedback on your skating that you crave. Remember, that when you are an adult (not too long from now) you can skate all day, every day, provided you have the time and money (and getting that time and money is where your college education kicks in).
-
Sierra, I completed and graduated from IB and went to a small state school. I initially went there for opera. I graduated a week ago with a bachelor of fine arts with a concentration in graphic design.
Not all ib kids go to prestigious schools and become astronauts. :) I did IB and passed it with the goal I'd be helping out my parents with money by getting 100% bright futures (it's since changed now with the dip in the economy and all).
You may think or feel like people here are ganging up on you. I can assure you we are not. We just want you to keep a realistic goal of what's out there.
Heck, graphic design isn't even a guaranteed field. I have an internship now that may lead to a job but it also may not. I plan on coaching someday, but not before I pass more levels and feel ready. Two summers ago I took a course on Bartending (around when the economy plummeted) just in case I couldn't get a job in design I'd always have that under my belt to make some money somewhere else.
It's not that anyone here doesn't think coaching is a good idea, it's that you want thar backup plan so you have some sort of steady income in case the economy tanks like it did. I work for minimum wage at my rink. I have an internship and it's unpaid. Even if I dont get a job at this place, I have that cushion of my job at the rink just in case I do have a lapse in design jobs.
Think of coaching like a freelance job (a student), they're never guaranteed, if you get one WONDERFUL, if you keep an ongoing relationship with that client that leads to steady work (a regular weekly student), amazing!, but if that client gets hurt financially (in the case of a student the parent loses a job or they dont have money to pay or god forbid they get hurt physically) or decides they don't want that specific job done anymore, you're out a client. You want a backup that you can LIVE off of just in case those freelance jobs come in. In my case as a real world example, I've got my internship and I have two big potential freelance jobs starting next month. I wouldn't be able to live and pay rent off those two jobs because I'm not experienced enough to get the big bucks quite yet. And because they are freelance I can't even TOUCH the money until the next year just so I make sure I can pay the taxes on them.
Right now, you're young. :) enjoy it. We all just want you to be aware that being a coach even full-time may not pay the bills.
Have you thought of asking if you could help with learn to skate for some volunteer hours? I had to do a LOT of volunteering throughout middle and high school because of various organizations and I was able to knock out some of them by volunteering at the LTS classes. :) it gives you a little coaching experience, too ;)
-
Well, okay. I found a Bachelor of Science Athletic Training degree. It's mainly for preventing and rehabilitating injury in athletes. That would be very useful knowledge for a coach; and a decent part time job in which I could easily emphasize with the patients. Mom agrees. She's all over it.
I'm afraid to even mention IB, because then everybody would immediately expect me to do it. At the moment, I have no choice whether or not I want to do Honors, I'm just expected to do it. Imagine what would happen with IB. And some of those honors assignments are a pain in the butt.
I have told Mom that figure skating is a very good extracurricular to put on applications. That testing and competition achievements would be very impressive to college's eyes, etc. And, as usual, all she cares about is the GPA.
Look for a friend at the rink who is willing to provide the feedback on your skating that you crave.
I have the friend providing feedback already :) Mostly in the form of "NO! No sitting on your double salchow! -coach's name here- will kill you for it!" It's really nice for somebody other than my coach to care. She hasn't been around lately, though.
LTS coaches here have to be at least 16, btw.
It's hard to enjoy being young when I spend each day waiting for it to end so skating day can come quicker.
-
I'm not saying do IB. :) Gonna be honest, I didn't have much of a social life in it. It was great for my gpa and getting a scholarship but the only thing I was able to make time for was chorus and even then it was hard to balance it all. It does teach time management which I didn't quite get until my senior year of COLLEGE when I was balancing classes I enjoyed with skating. :)
IB can be great but not everyone is cut out for it, I wasn't really, but I realized that 3 years in and figured dropping it would be a waste of time at that point. Don't even get me started on the extended essay in which I wrote about music in the Bolshevik revolution, that was a dumb idea. ;)
-
Well, okay. I found a Bachelor of Science Athletic Training degree. It's mainly for preventing and rehabilitating injury in athletes. That would be very useful knowledge for a coach; and a decent part time job in which I could easily emphasize with the patients. Mom agrees. She's all over it.
Well I for one think it sounds like a great plan. You'll have a fall-back option and btw, one of my club's former coaches (now coaches in a nearby town) is a physiotherapist or something like that too. She coaches skaters at the high level (nationals and stuff, depends on skater's age of course too).
-
For the last couple of weeks I've been at the rink everyday (long story- the ice time was free). I've realized just *how much* other kids skate. Ones at or near my level skate 2 to 4 times as much as me. Skaters at the level I want to achieve (dbl axel) skate 2-3 hours everyday, with plentiful lessons. I'm deluding myself if I really think I can achieve a double axel, plus Senior tests, on 4.5 hours, 1 lesson a week, and having started at 12.
I'm never going to get my mother to change. I realize this more than ever after many people- including my dad and total strangers- have told me how impressed they are at my dedication on the ice. If somebody can watch me for 5 minutes and see that in my face, yet my mother cannot or will not.. there is really nothing I can do.
I just need to hold on for another year and a half. Then I'll be able to drive and get a job. The chances of my getting a job at all, and that job supporting both serious skating and a vehicle, are slim to none. It breaks my heart. But there is nothing to be done except work hard at my current skating and wait.
After skating so much and observing the coaches on my breaks, I know more than ever, with resounding certainty, that this is what I want to do. I want skating in my life for the rest of my life. It doesn't look promising right now, but lots of things can change by the time I'm 16 and 18. I've come a very long way from last February, when I first began to really love skating. If I can do so much in a year, there is much more to be achieved in the next four or five years. And those four or five years cannot be allowed to fly by because of my thinking in constant loops.
So I just need to keep my glass half full, and let the future happen. I will do everything to my utmost ability to support skating, and let fate take care of the rest. It's very difficult to just do nothing right now, but the facts are that my mother isn't changing and a fairy is not going to come down and grant me all my wishes and dreams. I'll just keep bugging everyone on here, and we'll see where I am after college.
-
Sierra, don't get discouraged. Sometimes it takes mommies a long time to understand how much you love something.
My mom is finally realizing I'm dedicated to my skating and asks about it now. I've been on the ice consistently for two years now and going on 6 months of lessons and one month of synchronized skating, plus working at the ice rink and balancing an internship. It's a lot of work. I haven't been home since January 1st. Heck, I'm barely in my apartment anymore I'm so busy. But two weeks ago my dad came up for a business meeting and my mom texted me and said the night before "Hey, when your dad goes to [city] tomorrow, I thought I could hitch a ride with him and come watch you skate. What time is your synchro class tomorrow?". I was ecstatic. :) I left my internship a little early so I could meet up with her and take her to the rink with me. She met my coach and met some of my coworkers and watched me practice synchro and could see in my face just how happy being on the ice makes me. It's taken a long time for her to see that and it wasn't until we went skating at the Sky Rink that she saw how far I'd come from when she last saw me skate and confided that it actually scares her to watch me because she's afraid I will get hurt. She's coming up this wednesday because I entered a local advertising design competition and they're showing the entries on wednesday night at 5 and she wants to see mine (she paid for my entry fee because she was excited about me possibly getting recognition and something extra to put on my resume) and she said she'd like to come watch me coach LTS and practice synchro afterwards and then we're going to go to dinner.
(**I almost think, on a sort of spiritual note, you can believe it or not, that my grandma (her mom) gave her some encouragement and confidence about me skating when I was at synchro when she came to watch me. She told me afterwards that there was a moment when I was out there that I looked just like her mom and she almost had to look away because it surprised her. That's only happened when I've been doing something I loved, in the past it would happen when I was singing at a chorus performance, she'd come up to me afterwards and say "you looked just like my mom up there". I think it's my grandma's way of saying "Linda, she's ok out there and she's happy. Let her enjoy it and enjoy it for her.")
Like I said, it sometimes takes a lot for moms to understand how much you love something before they accept it. Your mom could very well be like my mom and just be scared of you doing jumps and stuff which is why she seems to be deterring you from it. But I also work part time at the ice rink and pay for all my lessons and classes on my own, and I just got asked to teach LTS. She sees how excited I get when I talk about skating and she's seen how happy I am when I do skate. It took a long time for her to respond when I told her I landed a jump. I just got my salchow back on Friday and told her and she wrote back "Good. :)" So it's a start. Just be patient with your momma. If you have to see if she will watch you. Have your coach talk to her about your goals, etc. My coach told my mom I was doing the Florida Open in April and mom asked where it was and she's going to go support me there. I'd only mentioned to her I was competing in April, hadn't told her when or where. But she liked hearing how my coach spoke about me and how enthusiastic she was about the whole thing.
Write down for yourself a list of your skating goals. Find a way to talk to your mom about it. Sit her down and ask her why she doesn't support you emotionally in skating. Tell her when you're able to drive you're going to get a job to help support your skating.
Trust me, I know it's hard when your mom doesn't show the same enthusiasm for what you love as you want her to but after some time she will realize and show it back.
-
Sierra, I fully understand where you're coming from. My mom hates me and my sister skating (yes I said HATES!). It gets the blame for everything. My sister and I are both adults and have to pay for our own skating. We're in full control of the skating bills so it's not as if we're draining the finances. However, my mother seems to think we should be on very short apron strings and forever visiting her.
My sister is currently training with a senior synchro team for Worlds. My parents have just organised to get tickets to go watch. So my mother hears my sister has a day off work and is asking if she's coming home for lunch. As my sister said, by now she should know that they day off work my sister has is the day of synchro practice and that if my parents want to see her skate at Worlds she better go to practice and not lunch. My mom just doesn't get it. The only bit about skating she likes is when we do well and she can boast to her friends. She doesn't understand the sport and doesn't want to.
I personally don't talk to her about it anymore. It's a bit of my life which is me and she isn't welcome there (sounds harsh but it makes me happier). This attitude came when I showed her the video from my first skating competition. I'd done really well and landed the flip jump the coach put in as a stretch element. Coach was delighted. My mom asked where the jumps were! And then said the little hoppy things.... OK they probably do look like little hoppy things on a camera view finder and look nothing like triple flips that the top skaters do, but still....
With regards to your goals of landing your double axel, passing senior tests and becoming a coach. There's nothing stopping ou on the ice time you've got. It just might take you a little longer. And hey once you're finished school, you're the one paying the bills so you can organise your life to fit as much skating as you want in.
-
Sierra, do your best and see how far your determination takes you. At least at the end of the day, you will be able to say you did not waste a single penny nor a single second.
There are talented children whose parents cannot afford any privates or even have to stop group lessons. There are also children who have the financial resources but never manage to get beyond single flips. Let's do your 120% with what you realistically can have.
Speaking of this, a preteen friend of mine was able to teach birthday parties at my rink last week. Could you help around at the rink for pay?
-
For the last couple of weeks I've been at the rink everyday (long story- the ice time was free). I've realized just *how much* other kids skate. Ones at or near my level skate 2 to 4 times as much as me. Skaters at the level I want to achieve (dbl axel) skate 2-3 hours everyday, with plentiful lessons. I'm deluding myself if I really think I can achieve a double axel, plus Senior tests, on 4.5 hours, 1 lesson a week, and having started at 12.
Sierra...
Hang in there. You are right to keep your glass half full. YES other skaters might skate more then you do and have more lessons then you do, but honestly, determination can go a long way. I can't remember how much you say you skate a week. Just skate when yu can and keep doing what you are doing and go from there. Honestly, you might skate less then some of the other skaters, but I bet you utilize every minute of ice that you can!
As far as what might be when you are older... at my daughter's rink, the employees get to skate for free. Maybe when you are 16, you can get a job at the rink and if they offer ice to their employees, that will help with your skating budget. So... if you can take ice money and put it into something else. Another way my daughter earns free ice is by helping out on learn to skate. i don't know if all rinks do this, but you might ask if yours does and see if they need/want help. It would be a great way for you to get some experience helping other skaters learn AND you could earn free ice! My daughter saves me around 40/mo doing this. I tell her it is her way of paying for skating. What about group lessons? is there anyone who is your level who might be interested in taking a group lesson with you? That might also be a less expensive way to add in another lesson. I don't know if that is doable or not now, but maybe in the future it will be. :)
You will be fine. If you really want to coach, you WILL do it. Hang tight... it will work out.
-
Thanks all :) I do hope one day she will understand it better. It just really feels like all the odds are against me- lack of parental support, lack of resources, rink being so far away, and even that my parents want to move to Kentucky, which will, depending on my age, leave me in Kentucky with a horribly recreational rink (they have three freestyle sessions per week- that says it all) or in Florida, struggling to find a place to live.
The age limit at my rink is 16, both for jobs & junior coaches. I will be looking into those as soon as I'm 16. I'm just afraid I won't find a job at all. The only reason my brother got his first job is because the store owner and my mom were talking to each other one day. He's since left that job and co-owns a pressure wash business. Publix hires 14 yr olds, but I've never actually seen a teenager work in that particular store near me. Have applied though.
I hope maybe when I've been skating longer, Mom will take it more seriously. I've actually only been skating seriously for not yet a full year, and have only been doing privates since last June.
-
Sierra,
My daughter isn't a junior coach since her rink hires them at 16, I believe. She is a helper and her rink "pays" helpers in ice time. :) She gets 1 free session for helping with learn to skate. She is 12, so she cannot legally work.
Good luck, Sierra. I am sure your dreams of becoming a skating coach will happen.