Apparently, my goal was really simple -- it was just to be comfortable on the ice. And after 6 years, I've finally met that goal.
omg, I relate to this so much, and I feel really comforted by the fact that it took you 6 years. I'm on year 2 (that's kind of 2 years condensed, one with a good coach,the other not as much) and I've been feeling so embarrassed by the fact that I'm _still_ not comfortable on the ice yet.
very one of the things you listed above are things I struggle with, still. Fear of crossovers (this comes and goes, but gets worse if I trip and fall badly, which I do every few months or so), hunched over back on backwards stroking, and strong crossrolls/russian stroking. In my head I should be further along by now, my skills are all there, so why can't I do them comfortably? But reading this made me remember that it takes time to get to that comfort zone, even after you have the skills.