From the Letterman show on CBS:
Dave's Top 10 Signs that the Figure Skating Judges Won't Give You a 6.0
10. Judges can't tell the difference between you and the Zamboni.
9. Your coach keeps screaming, "Let go of the railing!"
8. The only thing that's 6.0 is your blood alcohol level.
7. You Lutz yourself over the boards and into a hot dog vendor.
6. During a spin, your skate flies off and embeds itself in the Russian judge's head.
5. Your costume looks an awful lot like your Denny's uniform.
4. You perform your long program to the theme from "The Dukes of Hazzard."
3. You cut your routine short because you have to return your rental skates.
2. Every time you skate past the judges, you give them the finger.
1. You put the "cow" in "Salchow."
©CBS Inc., 1998