How to stop stressing?

[Sierra]

How does a skater stop being overly stressed?

I've always been known to be stressful and perfectionist prior to competitions, but this is by far the worst ever. Today was so bad that I cried all through taking my skates off and all the way home, because I have two combinations in my program and I didn't land them at all today, not once.. I compete in a week.
I keep getting stuck on that, a month ago, these combinations were great, my double sal was solid, and now everything has fallen apart.

I think if it's gotten to the point where, for the first time in all of my 3 years of skating, that I do not want to skate, I need to overhaul my entire mentality. I know Preliminary is not worth crying over, I know that every skater out there has had disastrous competitions. But when I'm on the ice I cannot stop myself from overreacting. I have 3 more practice sessions before the competition, and I need to get myself together.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Mental techniques? Thanks for reading this.

[irenar5]

Hang in there!!  You are so not alone!  Even many elite competitors work with sports psychologists to overcome competition anxiety and stress.
 
Some of the coping  techniques I learned are visualization and taking one element at a time.  I literally play the program in my head over and over, remembering every little detail about the arms, the legs, landing the jumps perfectly and centering the spins.  In the program itself try to concentrate on the element just immediately ahead,  not the one that is in the second half of the program that you have been having trouble with. 
 Everyone has off days, you are not supposed to be 100% all the time.  I would probably not practice those combinations for a day or two, just to get your body  a chance to forget whatever movement pattern has been throwing you off.

Have a great skate and good luck!!!
 

[fsk8r]

I think most of us have been there. Sometimes you need to take that step back and remember "it's only skating". There's more to life than skating and some combinations.
One approach you could take is that you work out your contingency plan if these combinations aren't working next time you skate. Do you need them? Can you replace them with something you're comfortable with? Just in working out the contingency plan takes the pressure off "having to land them."
Also remember that while it is called a competition, the judges, your parents, your coach and everyone else there just want you to have a good skate. Don't see it as a competition but as a performance. A chance to get the ice to yourself.
I sometimes remind myself that we all have a journey in getting to competition day. This is your issue in getting there. You don't know what the other skaters are going through. Others may have other issues to deal with, like injuries, problems at home, etc. They'll also be stressing about how they'll perform. Ultimately you just need to go out there and do your best and try to enjoy yourself. Everything else is icing on the cake.
And as for disasterous competitions, what's the worst that can happen? I've seen skaters have the wrong music played, I've seen skaters compete without music. I've heard of people not having dresses, skates, etc... Falling over is actually quite minor in comparison.
And the skaters which have always impressed me the most in competition are the ones who are having a disasterous skate but who carry on and try not to let the falls affect the program and stay in character. That takes real guts. OK they might not place well that time, but the learning experience from that competition will help them more in the future than skating a clean program and winning a medal.

[hopskipjump]

Are you able to pick up an extra lesson or two with your coach?  Maybe practice what if's? with him or her so they can coach you through them? 

If they are booked with lessons during ice time maybe ask if you can't do it off ice - walk through your program, do a fall and come up with a plan and do the combo off ice.

[VAsk8r]

I agree with all the other things posted here. I've also noticed that bad practices a week or less before competition tend to result in a good performance at competition. You are going to have off days -- better to get those out of the way now and be "on" the day of your comp.

After this competition, perhaps you should consider taking a break from competitions. Work on some things you find fun, and work on those jumps and combinations at your own pace.

I did that last year, after a horrible competition where I placed third out of three and felt like I skated terribly. I cried on the way home and felt sorry for myself for a few days. Finally I decided I was just not going to let it bother me anymore. Everyone has off days. Almost every skater I know has placed last in a competition at some point or come off the ice thinking they could've done much better. The majority of adults I know can barely stand up on skates, let alone do spins or double jumps. You, and all of us, have worked hard at something we love to get to where we are.

I took a break for several months from competing and focused on the elements that had given me so much trouble. Since then, I have competed three times and tested once, and I haven't been nearly as nervous as I used to be. I failed my adult bronze moves test in February, failed it badly, actually, and I was upset about it but not nearly as much as I would've been a year before that. My coach and I took the feedback from the judges and began focusing on each issue that needed work.

The main reason we're competitive skaters is because we love it, right? Not to win or go to the Olympics. And I guarantee you ARE improving, even if it's not noticeable from week to week.

[Sierra]

Thanks so much guys, your perspectives really help me out. I feel good right now but I don't know if I can stay that way throughout practice  tomorrow. Seems no matter how much I rationalize on the ice I still become upset.
I will try to focus on my program spins/footwork instead of obsessively practicing the combos.

After this competition, perhaps you should consider taking a break from competitions. Work on some things you find fun, and work on those jumps and combinations at your own pace.

I am; my next planned is September. My coach has mentioned moving up a level and competing in June, but I've emphatically told her no.
I think the root of a lot of the stress is being burnt out on competing; I've been competing since January. It was not my choice to compete in January, I had been planning to have more time to work on the program and not rush. My mother forced me into that competition- it was either compete or have skating taken away.

Are you able to pick up an extra lesson or two with your coach? 

Lessons stress me even more, but I do have my normal amount of lesson this week before leaving Friday morning. I've thought about changing the combinations, but I'm kind of stuck because there's not really anything good to change them to besides something incredibly easy like lutz-loop and axel-single loop.

[fsk8r]

Sometimes simple things done nicely are appreciated better by the judges than hard stuff with all the struggles they entail. A big lutz-loop often places better than a double combination where the jumps are small and not quite fully rotated.
And put into prospective the amount of time in the program you spend jumping. It's a tiny proportion of it. The spins and footwork are actually really important.
Perhaps try working on those bits and run your program a couple of times without any jumps (or just put singles in for the doubles) so that you really focus on the presentation side of things.

And good luck. And actually nothing really bad happens when you come last at competition. I fell at my last competition after I'd got really nervous as I stepped on the ice. I came 3rd of 3. But while at one point in life I'd have got off and been really disappointed (and I was still to an extent), I was actually rather proud of myself, because I got up and carried on and I didn't let it affect the rest of my performance. If anything I skated better after I fell as the adrenaline was busy taking care of the pain. I look back on it and I've ticked something off the list of things that can happen at competition and I've showed myself that it's not the end of the world.

[jjane45]

Hugs and good luck!

[Sierra]

My practice today and yesterday were a little better. My coach got tough and whipped the jumps out of me. She said to go over the technique more. They're not really consistent but not a complete wreck either.
My last two competitions are really the first times I've ever truly skated well- nearly all the previous ones were last places due to mediocre performance. So the perfectionism comes in play, wanting to keep making personal bests.

Thanks for the good luck wishes!

[bollyskater]

It may sound pollyanna-ish to recommend saying kinder things to yourself, but in short, that's in fact the best medicine. Try thinking about your competitions in more flexible terms. For example:

Instead of saying to yourself, "I'm not good at ...," you can tell yourself, "I missed it the last two times I tried. I know I can do this because I have done it many other times."

Instead of worrying about how well you should be doing by now, you could focus on all the things you can be grateful for -- your health, the progress you have made, your ability to skate at all, the people who support you in your passions...

Instead of thinking you are a special case who needs drastic overhauling, realize that a lot of what you go through is normal and very common among athletes and non-athletes alike. This way you can spend less time beating yourself up about having the "wrong" emotions. One way to do that is to label situations in terms of what is happening versus what you are like. For example:

Instead of saying, "I am always like this," you can say, "I sometimes worry about doing well in competition. Competitions make a lot of people nervous -- even Olympians."

And then take the best possible care of yourself leading up to the event. Be early for things, eat right, practice deep breathing every day, and get enough rest so that you have the energy to compete well.

I hope that helps!

[fsk8r]

Thanks bollyskater. That's the sort advice a lot of us need to hear.

I read recently that one girl went out for the Olympic Speed Skating final and spent the whole time muttering to herself, "it's only speed skating" meaning there's other things in life which are actually more important (like her health, family, etc). She apparently had a good skate because she'd taken the pressure off herself by not focussing on the fact that it was the Olympic final. I can't remember where she placed, but she'd done better than expected to make the final.

[bollyskater]

Thanks bollyskater. That's the sort advice a lot of us need to hear.

I read recently that one girl went out for the Olympic Speed Skating final and spent the whole time muttering to herself, "it's only speed skating" meaning there's other things in life which are actually more important (like her health, family, etc). She apparently had a good skate because she'd taken the pressure off herself by not focussing on the fact that it was the Olympic final. I can't remember where she placed, but she'd done better than expected to make the final.

Yeah, I think that magic phrase has to be different for everyone. You just have to keep trying things until something clicks for you. My current mantra is "How am I doing now?" There is no better or worse answer to that. Rather, the purpose is to focus on the present moment instead of the future. It also helps me notice when I am unconsciously tensing up or breathing too shallowly and fast. Just noticing what's going on inside helps me become more detached from the heightened feelings of the moment.

[hopskipjump]

With a sport like this where the "game" is over in under 5 minutes, living in the moment (and enjoying it) is important.  Thank you for that reminder.

[Doubletoe]

I have found that it has been extremely helpful to give myself technique cue words for every element in my program and review them while visualizing each element on the ice before skating my program in competition.  But this only solved half of my nerve problem.  The other half was subconscious.  My conscious brain would say, "You can totally do this.  This is easy for you."  But my subconscious was obviously saying, "Yeah, right!  You're full of it!"  I never skated a clean program in competition until I'd started working on re-wiring my subconscious.  I saw an excellent article today that talks about exactly that: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2012/05/four-steps-to-rewire-your-brain-with-your-mind-and-conscious-action/

To Sierra:  Of course none of this will help you if you are sick of competing and only doing it because you are being forced to.  You need to skate because you love it. . . or at least convince your subconscious that you are skating because you love it!

[hopskipjump]

Hope you had a fun comp this weekend!

[Sierra]

Thanks everyone!

One of the combinations I just did the first jump, didn't attempt the second, and I landed the other combination. Then I fell on a solo double loop. Which is usually consistent.
Pretty much everybody in the flight fell at least once and cheated/two-footed their other jumps. I was assuming that, at worst, I would place 6th out of 10 since there were four people who skated pretty badly. Nope. 8th.
Don't understand it, since I only made one mistake and had two good axels, two clean, nicely landed double sals, one hard combination, and my spins were difficult with way over minimum revs. People with average/below average spins that fell twice or popped/cheated/barely landed several jumps, placed ahead of me. Even my coach said that the placings were absolutely, completely wrong.

I know that this just happens. It's a subjective sport. I'm happy that I landed one of the combinations and that I landed my double sals in the freeskate and a third sal in a different event. But the placings were extremely disappointing, especially when my coach (and a few other people) confirmed that I skated so much better than 8th.

I changed my plans, not going to compete until next year. Looking forward to having several months to prepare a program and work on my individual elements.

[VAsk8r]

I know that this just happens. It's a subjective sport. I'm happy that I landed one of the combinations and that I landed my double sals in the freeskate and a third sal in a different event. But the placings were extremely disappointing, especially when my coach (and a few other people) confirmed that I skated so much better than 8th.

Then to me, that's a performance you can be proud of. The judging seems so arbitrary sometimes. Be proud that you worked hard, had the ability to change your jump on the spot when you realized the combination wouldn't work, and had so many other strong components. It's never perfect, but it sounds like you skated pretty well. I hope you can get that break you need now.

[hopskipjump]

Sorry you weren't pleased with your scores.    Sometimes it's nice to see the score sheet though - I've heard kids say Well, at least Judge 3 liked me!    It's the bright side.

Enjoy your time off from competing.  It might be nice to take moves test in the interim.  I am waiting for dd to be able to focus on them for a bit this fall.

[fsk8r]

Sorry you weren't pleased with your scores.    Sometimes it's nice to see the score sheet though - I've heard kids say Well, at least Judge 3 liked me!    It's the bright side.

I always like that bright side of having one judge being favourable.
Well done on getting out there and skating a nearly clean program and managing to almost do everything you were stressing about. That's the achievement.
I'm convinced that sometimes the judges are actually watching American Idol and not the skating so the placements do seem a bit wacky, it's best not to stress too much about it. Just reflect on what you did wrong and can improve and what you did right in the performance. Not doing the combination but turning it into a solo jump is actually an achievement because it shows you can think under pressure. So don't be too down on yourself.
Competitions are all about the learning experience, you've learnt that you can think under pressure and can do those combinations and get up and carry on when you fall. That's lots of big ticks.

[LilJen]

It almost always happens that a program that's been going well starts to go horribly wrong the week of a test or competition. Nerves simply kick in!! I find it helpful to remind myself that the world will continue on whether I triumph or fail miserably, and though I dearly love to skate it is NOT the be-all, end-all of the universe. Perspective!

[Sierra]

Thanks for the input everyone. I can't help being crushed right now but eventually I won't care.

Overall this spring I competed much better than I have in the past- a month ago I got 2nd and 4th out of two groups of 8, which was really really good. I try to focus on how incredibly happy my coach has been with all my performances, especially the abovementioned last month. I live to please her

It might be nice to take moves test in the interim.  I am waiting for dd to be able to focus on them for a bit this fall.

That's what I really want to do, test Juvenile. Intermediate looks so interesting, I can't wait to work on it!

[Doubletoe]

Sorry it was a disappointing competition for you.   Were you judged under IJS or 6.0?  At least you can figure out where you lost points by looking at your scoresheet if it's IJS, but with 6.0 it's not as easy. . . Either way, working on MIF and artistry will always help your score, regardless of what happens with your jumps, so it's good that you're planning to do that!