skatingforums
On the Ice => Sitting on the Boards Rink Side => Topic started by: Sierra on December 26, 2010, 08:17:18 PM
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Now why has nobody ever identified Teen Onset Skating Syndrome?
Symptoms include nagging of parents night and day, wanting to skate all the time, zealous viewing of Youtube figure skaters and over-use of Y!A Ice skating section. Teens become incredibly mature, hardworking and sacrificial overnight. They suddenly realize the value of a dollar and offer to eat less so as to save money for skating. They ask for ice time for Christmas, show the parent more spins than they would ever want to see, and wake up screaming in the night after dreaming about the rink closing down. The teens also constantly get on their boyfriend's nerves by misspelling axle. They acquire a whole new vocabulary that rivals SAT words; consisting of words like revolutions, Biellmann, lutz and twizzle. Doodled spin tracings appear on homework.
There is no known cure. The condition is very similar to AOSS, except persons with TOSS are much more prone to severe flare-ups of anger due to restricted freedom. A person with TOSS is immune to AOSS, but they can contract STASS- Skater-Turned-Adult Skating Syndrome.
The ideal situation is for mother and teen to get AOSS and TOSS at the same time. Insanity does best with company.
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And don't forget YAOSS (young adult onset skating syndrome). Symptoms include mentioning you want to get back into skating with parents telling you you need to pay for it yourself in hopes that you drop that only to get a job at the ice rink a la ice princess to pay for lessons and ice time. ;)
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LOL on average it does not rival the real AOSS on contagiosity!
The ideal situation is for mother and teen to get AOSS and TOSS at the same time. Insanity does best with company.
Brilliant idea and good luck!
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LOL on average it does not rival the real AOSS on contagiosity!
Brilliant idea and good luck!
Contagious? AOSS is contagious? -scratches head- But then everybody's coworkers would be skating maniacs.
Sadly, I think my mother is immune to AOSS. 88)