Don't beat yourself up; I've been landing axels on the ice for 10 years and still get mental over them!
There are two things that are different on the ice than on the floor: First, you have the fear factor. It's just plain scarier doing them on the ice. Second, the timing is different. You have an entrance edge, which you don't have on the floor. You also have more time in the air (assuming you jump higher on the ice, which you probably need to in order to rotate the jump with those heavy skates on). For what it's worth, my timing on the ice is this: Step-wait-wait-UP-and land. The entrance edge is 2 beats, and you want to keep completely still with your landing side shoulder back, in a straight line. The "UP" needs to be straight up off the toe, as high as possible, without covering distance on the ice. The "and" is where you turn your landing side hip in and straighten your landing leg while lifting your free thigh, then pulling in. I had the axel on the floor for a year before I finally landed it on the ice, and I credit the jump harness for that transition. Stick with it!
As for imagery, I like the image of a stripper pole, er, I mean fireman's pole. When you take off, that pole is in front of you. You jump up and grab it with your right arm and right leg, then swing around it, pulling in after the first half turn.