BTW, I've seen a lot of kids, including pretty good figure skaters, wear an Ice Halo. If you pick a color that matches your outfit, they don't look so bad - their website
http://www.icehalo.ca shows they think about style a lot, and they have a lot of models and colors to choose from. They have "soft helmet" styles that cover more of the head. If I were worried about concussions, I'd go for one of those.
I wonder if most judges might be OK with an ADULT wearing a helmet during tests and comps. 5 concussions is A LOT. This is a truly terrible thing to ask, and it does seem exceedingly unlikely, but if you insist on NOT wearing helmets, is it vaguely possible your husband is even a little bit right?
A band can't protect the whole head. Even most helmets don't: I've twice hit my forehead on rocks while whitewater boating with a helmet. (A helmet with a face shield or maybe a bigger brim would have prevented that.)
People make extremely lightweight bicycle helmets - e.g., I had one that was nothing but thin polystyrene foam, with a piece of cloth over it. It possibly saved my life in a bike accident, though I still took damage. But those super-light helmets are only designed to survive one fall. After that, they either break apart completely, or provide little protection. Which can potentially make them expensive to keep replacing - but so might a concussion be, and the after effects could be severe.
I personally believe that fall practice can help a lot. Maybe it won't prevent all damage, but it helps improve reflex speed, so that you can often avoid hitting your head. One idea is to spread the impact by rolling or sliding over soft parts of your body. For example, if you fall backward, it helps to relax and curl your head forward, and to try to direct your roll slightly off center. I admit I'm a fall fanatic, and spent a lot of time practicing falls, and I know sane people don't do that (not a problem for me
). In many other sports where falling is common, extensive fall practice is often advocated. The best instructor for gentle falls I found was a modern dancer, who used falls in her routines.
For you, skating is clearly a contact sport, so maybe fall practice makes sense. But maybe wearing protection does too?
Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.