I really think being prepared is the best way to calm nerves on a regular basis. Regular lessons, perfect practices, and double runthroughs are all good training tools. Increase your on-ice time for two weeks before the event.
If you don't skate in front of an audience regularly, that rachets up the stress factor. Try and find ways to make appearances. Skittle skates at a mall rink - that's really putting you on display, so if there's a mall rink nearby, program runthroughs with strangers watching is good medicine. If a nearby rink has a Program Practice session, sign up and hope for a crowd!
I agree with the "let's pretend this is the competition" approach. I use it for pre-test/pre-competition trials with my skaters and it helps identify what that skater needs to do before they skate. One of my skaters always has scratchy turns, so part of her warmup is always to quickly run through every turn twice with deeply bent knees and proper checking. Another has stiff knees, so she has two fast circles of back crossovers to loosen her up a bit before she gets into the real warmup. I also practice getting to the start and bowing/leaving the ice - every step matters. I don't like seeing hunched-over toe pushers stomping to the start and then scurrying off the ice like quasimodo.
Have a plan for what you'll do while you wait to skate. I have six or seven exercises that keep my students moving while they wait. I get them to focus on their performance and not get distracted by others' music and programs. Beginners will psych themselves out if they see a competitor do a great spin or jump. In a very blase' manner, I run through the "what to do if..." steps. (If you fall, get up and keep going. If they play the wrong music, go to the referee. If your CD fails, I have the backup.)
I've always been comfortable in front of an audience. Guess I'm a show off, but one of the things I get complimented on is that I'm very calm in the waiting area. I just wait and think about my program and my skating. I've passed that calmness along to my own students. "You worked for this, you're ready, time to shake out the butterflies and let them go their own way."
I started to write a long rant about someone who is a "stress giver" in the waiting-to-skate area, but decided against it. Let's just suggest that you ignore what others are saying around you and focus on yourself. If your coach's style doesn't keep you calm and prepared, you might want to put yourself on if you have the focus, or vice-versa. It's best to surround yourself with cheerleaders who are calm rather than people who make you nervous.