On one level- everyone who skates seriously- on figure boots and blades and on freeskate elements (or aspires to) is a figure skater. But there's always going to be those who say you're recreational unless you compete, or have your axel or something.
I remember the first moment I decided I'd work hard on skating, the first moment I committed. What was I- I think I was working on three turns? Wow. It couldn't be all that long ago, either, I've been skating for two years and have all my singles.
I also remember this one coach at my rink, I told her I practice as much as I can whenever I can, and then she said, "Great! That means you're a real figure skater!" So maybe the distinction comes with passion! In that I'd totally say you're a figure skater. You love it an you're committed, totally! No one wants to hear someone snobbing about how you're not a "real" figure skater until you compete at *this level* and can land *this* jump.
Also, I know how you feel with the "most of my internet surfing is on skating-related websites". That's me for sure, it comes in waves every few weeks when I do extensive research.