Skating is roughly 97% mental. As with anything, we, as parents, always tell our children to believe in themselves, set goals (dreams), make a plan, and follow through. All skaters should have short term, long term and if applicable, competition goals. Sometimes, the long term goals seem more like a pipedream but nonetheless, these are our skaters goals. As with anything in regards to our children, we do whatever it takes to help our children reach their goals (dreams).
One of the things I have learned by being a parent of a skater is that her goals are her goals. They are certainly not mine, although I do, as a parent have the luxury of guiding her in the best direction. For instance - "getting a medal" used to be her focus...now - not so much! It took a while, but after continuous discussions and repetitive brainwashing (haha...just kidding), she now realizes she just needs to give 100% when she competes. It's made a huge difference in how she views competitions as well as her competitors. Mostly - it's changed the way she approaches skating - she skates, practices, and competes for herself now without thought about her "competition".
One of the things I used as a brainwashing, oops I mean explanation, was that although she has goals and a plan and she knows very well what those are, she has no clue what her friends or competitors goals and plans are. It really helped her understand how "individual" this sport really is. It's about individual accomplishments that make the skater all warm and glittery inside!
With that said....onto the original posters comments.....
Yes, we all know the chance of going to the Olympics is slim to quite slim! With all the skaters out there vying for so few spots at sectionals, nationals, junior nationals, etc.... it's really next to impossible. We have what, a couple hundred thousand skaters every year in the US? Yeah, it's pretty unreasonable that the average skater will advance and most do quit competing around juv/intermediate b/c it gets so difficult to hang on.
With that said....I look at football....I have no clue how many little kids are playing/learning the game of football. I could probably look it up but I'll suffice to say it's quite a bit more than a couple hundred thousand. Yes, there are many, many more spots in professional football vs. the highest levels of figure skating. But, I'd bet the ratios are similar. Yet - we let these boys have pipedreams about playing in the NFL when they grow up. We let them decorate their rooms with their idols, we even buy jersey with their idols names on the back. We certainly don't tell them "you'll never make the pro's" and we don't look at our friends kids that play football and say "who does he think he is giving his son more time in the front yard catching passes"....or "can you believe he thinks his son will play in the pros". No - that attitude doesn't really exist.... you may have a parent a little jealous that Johnny gets to start each game and he's not that much better than billy, who is second string, but yeah - he "might" work harder at practice. Usually, the kids find their passion and continue working hard or decide football isn't for them, or they get cut from a team, or don't make the college team, etc...... It's okay - they usually know whether they have what it takes or not.
However, in skating - it's always how this skater thinks she's all that but doesn't have a _______ at this age so she's not going anywhere. Or Suzy's parents make her stay on the ice for hours and hours, yes she's progressing but she's always crying. Or Buffie's parents think she's going to the olympics....can you believe they think that....she's only in snowplow sam 2! Some one needs to tell her it's not possible, now! Or, my absolute favorite..... She's good only because her parents can afford all the ice time and lessons!
In this highly competitive sport of figure skating - the sport is hard enough, mentally and physically, without all the negativity being thrown around. I honestly think the skaters that make it to the highest level aren't the skaters that showed the most success when they were young or had the best coaches or the most ice time....I believe it's the skaters that persevered when times were tough, held on and never wavered from their goals (dreams), and mostly - had a passion for their sport of choice.
To the OP - the skater in question could very well be our country's next Olympian....who's to say she won't be! If she has the passion, support, and inner drive to get to where she needs to be - who knows what will happen. I certainly cannot predict the future. I think we, as parents need to support our children's dreams without crushing the dreams of others. I think our skaters would benefit a little if we understood that if our kids were football players, the NFL would be the ultimate goal and we'd probably be okay with that!