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Author Topic: DD struggling in lessons, becoming frustrated  (Read 1491 times)

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Offline sk8mom60

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DD struggling in lessons, becoming frustrated
« on: April 14, 2013, 11:54:41 AM »
Hi everyone,

I am the mom of a figure skater in her late teens. She started figure skating a few years ago and she seems to really love the sport. She always looks forward to her lessons and practicing and seems to like her coach and gets along well with other girls at the ice rink. My DD struggles with an eating disorder and it is starting to affect her lessons. (She is extremely hard on herself and is easily frustrated and irritated, resulting in unproductive lessons at times).
I am very close to pulling her out of skating because of how frustrated she gets with herself, but she insists that she really wants to continue to skate and do lessons. Has anyone here ever had a daughter that has struggled with with an eating disorder while skating? I am struggling with how I can support her skating, especially during the times when she is hard on herself, wants a specific move to be absolutely perfect, ETC.
I apologize in advance if this is a topic that cannot be discussed here, but I am interested in hearing what other skating moms / skaters might have to say.

Thank you very much,

Offline Willowway

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Re: DD struggling in lessons, becoming frustrated
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2013, 12:39:50 PM »
I have not been in your situation but if I were I would listen to a trusted professional who specializes in adolescent eating disorders. Having raised a son with ADHD I know that almost every piece of advice I was given, however well-meaning, was either useless or potentially counter-productive. Professionals have a better sense of what experience is common to the disorder and what experience is particular to a specific person - best to listen to that.

Offline 4711

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Re: DD struggling in lessons, becoming frustrated
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2013, 01:27:12 PM »
being a girl this day and age is a <big female dog>

I am assuming you are getting her help for the eating disorder. There is so much connected to that, physically and mentally.

But the disorder can make the execution of exercises difficult: a few years ago I had some excessive personal stress, which caused me to not eat much. As I continued to work out two, three times a week, I suddenly realized that I was indeed regressing: Instead of getting stronger I found myself doing girly push-ups on my knees again! I had lost a good 20 pounds of weight, which was at that point pretty much muscle. At 5'5" 116 pounds was just my fighting weight anymore.

It is not easy to motivate kids, to assure them that mistakes are ok, too, as long as you try your best!
:blush: ~ I should be writing~ :blush:

Offline nicklaszlo

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Re: DD struggling in lessons, becoming frustrated
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2013, 08:50:04 PM »
I would encourage her to take it easy on the ice and to view recovery from the eating disorder as important to improving her skating.  Beware that the eating disorder makes serious exercise injuries more likely.

Certainly work with a professional and pass that person's advice onto the coach.

Also remember grumpy teens are hardly unusual.

Offline Sk8tmum

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Re: DD struggling in lessons, becoming frustrated
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2013, 05:27:40 AM »
I would provide the information to whatever professional is treating your daughter for her eating disorder. Often, an obsession for exercise is a symptom of the disorder, as is repetitive behaviour (I must practice this until it is perfect, and I will not accept that it cannot be) and the professional needs that information in order to evaluate your daughter's progress and situation.

Good luck, and best wishes.

Offline PinkLaces

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Re: DD struggling in lessons, becoming frustrated
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2013, 11:57:15 PM »
I would talk with the professional she is seeing.  I have a 19 yo daughter that skates and also a 17 yo daughter that doesn't.  The 17 yo has been diagnosed with major clinical depression.  I work in partnership with her therapist on many issues related to school and her other activities.