Sudden Mental Block!

[slcbelle]

Yesterday, the strangest thing happened to me.  I couldn't, for the life of me, do a counter clockwise backwards crossover!  It's 7 days until my Bronze MITF test and I just flat forgot how to do it.  Seriously.  Here's what happened...

I went to the 6:45am freestyle session in the morning.  I fell right away just doing forward swizzles during my warm up.  Uhhh, what?  OK.  Maybe that was because my best friend from college was in the stands watching the session.  Maybe it's because my left inside edge is dull...I stop using it exclusively...and my blades were to be sharpened this weekend.  Anyway, that rattled me a little.  It was embarrassing to fall in front of a friend doing something so elementary.  But, OK.  I shook it off and kept skating.

We have Austrian skaters and coaches visiting and there's an Austrian ice dance pair that has been on my freestyle session all week and they are like a freight train.  Needless to say, it's really hard practicing Moves when there's a high level dance team whirling across the ice.  Then I was watching my coach work with a pre-juv/juv level student on her backwards crossovers and I was admiring how well she pushed out with her outside leg (inside edge) before the push under and thought, "I need to really PUSH right there as well."  But the session was getting crowded and the dancers were making me nuts and I knew I had to be back for the 1:45pm freestyle because I had a lesson at 2:15pm.

So, at 1:45pm I was back on the ice and committed to better backwards crossovers.  I started the first pattern for my Bronze test (perimeter power stroking).  I skated the forward strokes just fine, then 2 forward crossovers, then the mohawk before starting the backwards strokes and ERRRRRRRRRRRT!  I stopped.  I just halted.  Dug my toepicks in, backwards, and stopped dead.  I didn't know what to do with my feet!  How was I supposed to go from a mohawk to a backwards crossover again?  It was ridiculous!  I've done this pattern 100 times and never "forgot" what to do.  OK, take it from the top.  Same thing!  I just stopped!  WTH?Maybe I should just do backwards (counter clockwise) crossovers for a little while and work on that push.  Ummm, I couldn't take the first step.  Literally.  I couldn't figure it out!  Which foot first?  How do I get my foot to cross?  Why isn't my brain making my feet do this?  Do I have early onset Alzheimers?  A brain tumor?  OMG!  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!

(CONTINUED BELOW DUE TO CHARACTER COUNT LIMIT)

[slcbelle]

Calm down, I thought.  Do them clockwise.  No problem.  I could do those easy peasy.  Why can't I do them the other way?  I tried and I tried but was afraid!  I'm ready to take the Bronze test and I'm afraid of a backwards crossover?  Good Lord, I'm in trouble.

Then my coach comes up at 2:15pm for my lesson and I say, "Houston, we have a problem.  I can't do counter clockwise backwards crossovers."  "Of course you can!", she says.  "Err, no.  I can't.  Watch."  She had to hold my hands while we went around a circle and I did crossovers like student doing them for the very first time.  Clomp, clomp, clomp.

What the Hell happened to me?  I got online and read about Explicit Monitoring which is when  "in an effort to give the best performance of their life, an athete tries to control every movement, and by doing so, they short-circuit their effective, automatic processes.  The harder they try, the more controlled they become, and the results just get worse and worse.  Scientists refer to this process as “explicit monitoring,” because the athlete is monioring their every move, rather than letting it flow naturally."

There ya have it.  This is where I am a week before my test. 

Has anyone had a similar freak out before?  It sucks.

[Landing~Lutzes]

First of all, brreeeeaaathhheee! I think this is a little more common than you thing :-)
I had a similar thing happen to me, not on the ice, but while I was in ballet. I was preparing for a very important exam, and for one portion of the exam, I had to perform a variation that had a challenging turn sequence in it. I had the sequence mastered, performed it three times in a row with few mistakes and was feeling confident. Three days before my exam, could barely do a double pirrouette. I went into full blown panic when I realized a double pirrouette was suddenly out of my reach, and the rest of that day was tarnished by my anxiety over the situation. I remember thinking, this is the end of the world, I'm a terrible dancer, my career is over. I, like you, couldn't figure out why I couldn't do turns all the sudden, turns were my strong point! I took the next day off, returned the following day, and everything was fine.

Here is what I think happened - something went wrong, and because your test it so soon, you panicked. Your anxiety filled took over your mindset and you weren't able to reset your thought process and refocus. I would suggest you take the weekend off off and return the first of the week with the attitude of "I can do this."

Good luck, hope I could help a little!

[SynchKat]

Yes just breathe and relax.  You haven't lost it completely, it is there just taking a hiatus.  I always found if you took a break from something it always seemed to get better.

I have a mental block with a step in my dance I am preparing to test.  I had one with last year's as well.  Although last year's had been from many years before when I had issues with the step.  But the one this year is a twizzle which I can do on my own but when I get it on pattern I chicken out.

And for the best, the dance I am doing I can only do it with a partner.  Yes it is designed to only be done with a partner but if I try it myself I cannot even remember the steps but get with a partner and I am fine.  I was going over the steps with another skater on Monday and I drew a blank.  Got with my partner and was fine. I do like being led by a strong male lead in dances but this is just a little ridiculous.

[TreSk8sAZ]

Um, yes, before pretty much every competition and very often with FS tests as well. I have at least one practice where I feel like there's something that is normally super solid that I just can't do - flips don't work, spins don't work, whatever it is, it's there. It's gotten to the point where I know that's going to happen, so if, say, flips aren't working that day I just move on to something else. The next day they're perfectly fine.

It really does come down to trying too hard. Especially once I realize something is wrong, then I try extra hard to fix it because I *know* I can do it. I just have to take a step back and realize the harder I try to fix it, the more I freak out, and the worse it gets. If I just leave it (even for awhile) then it will be fine.

[sarahspins]

It's all going to be okay - it's perfectly normal to have a few horrible practices before you test.  It's better to have those NOW than on the day of your test

I had a very similar freak out about the second half of the power 3 pattern on bronze just a week or so before my test last summer.  I just couldn't do it to save my life, it was terrifying, but what my coach did was just have me do them very small and slow, and somehow I was able to pull myself together for my test, and that side ended up being much stronger than my "good" side.

Just before my last test I had a series of completely disasterous practices (including several falls, which for me, on moves, is very unusual).  I had to make myself not focus on it because it just wasn't productive.  What I focused on was preparing myself to get out on the ice every time I skated and go through my moves, and even if they were bad, I had to just leave it on the ice and not stress out.

[slcbelle]

So I'm normal!  This happens.  It will go away!

I would suggest you take the weekend off off and return the first of the week with the attitude of "I can do this."

Fortunately, I had to turn my skates over to my coach yesterday so she can sharpen them this weekend.  I won't see them again until Monday afternoon.

I suppose I'll skate on Tuesday and Wednesday and see how it goes?  The test is Thursday at 6:45pm.

[Live2Sk8]

Yes, perfectly normal.  I've watched your videos and you're a wonderful skater.  You can do those crossovers!  I usually have at least one disastrous practice in the week before a competition.  And for my Bronze moves test, all of a sudden I couldn't do my mohawk on my weaker side for 5-step Mohawk, for the whole month before the test.  It became clunky and forced.  I worked and worked, which didn't seem to help, but it was better on test day (I spent a very late night in ER with a family member, barely slept then was exhausted.  I just wanted to get the test done and get back home to the family member).  I did fine on the test (passed!)  Miraculously, the day after the test, that mohawk was back to normal and has been fine ever since.  I am the queen of trying too hard, and sounds like that's exactly what you did today.   Thanks for sharing the term 'explicit monitoring'!  Good luck as you continue your practice and with your test!

[Landing~Lutzes]

I suppose I'll skate on Tuesday and Wednesday and see how it goes?  The test is Thursday at 6:45pm.

Be careful about skating the day before a test. If you have a good skate on Tuesday, I'd leave it at that. If you have a bad skate, then skate Wednesday, but try your best to end on a good note!

[slcbelle]

Be careful about skating the day before a test. If you have a good skate on Tuesday, I'd leave it at that. If you have a bad skate, then skate Wednesday, but try your best to end on a good note!

What do you think about skating on test day?  It's not until after 6pm?

[CaraSkates]

What do you think about skating on test day?  It's not until after 6pm?

I like to skate on test days (or competition days) but I limit it to 30 mins and keep it easy - mostly just use the time to warm up my body and review patterns/elements. If everything feels good, I'll get off after 20 minutes. It also really helps me to keep things the same as practice - I do the same off ice warmup, the same on ice warmup and then review a few things.

[Live2Sk8]

Ditto what CaraSkates said.  I like to get my feet on some ice (whether or not it is the actual ice surface for the event) for 20 - 30 minutes if possible.

If you have a bad skate, tell yourself, 'Yay!  I got that out of the way so I'll do fine on the test.'

If you have a good skate, tell yourself, 'Yay!  I will skate just as well for the test.'

[jjane45]

I like to get my feet on some ice (whether or not it is the actual ice surface for the event) for 20 - 30 minutes if possible.

Yup, I always feel better if I can skate a bit on the same day. Especially for a freestyle test, spins don't tend to be my friend and need some time to warm up. 5 minutes are NOT enough.

Best of luck for your test, now that you got the bad skate out of your system, you'll pass with flying colors!!

[Icicle]

Don't worry: mental blocks happen even to elite skaters. I remember reading in Sasha Cohen's book how she lost her triple lutz right before the Olympics. She couldn't get it back to save her life, and it was only a couple of days before the competition. Here is what she did. She got a video of her performance at the nationals, where she had done a triple lutz perfectly. She watched that video many times, and seeing herself do the jump  helped her muscle memory to come back. Perhaps, you could try that, too? I know you do have videos of yourself doing those crossovers well. Watch that video and then visualize yourself doing perfect crossovers. Then do them on ice. And relax: it's an easy move, and you are a very strong skater. You'll pass your test with flying colors.

[sampaguita]

On my first competition, the on-ice warmup came earlier than expected. I still hadn't put on my skates. I panicked, I got really nervous, and I barely made it on the ice for the warmup. My waltz jump, which had been inconsistent for days prior to the event, was now non-existent. Not. A. Good. Sign.

Surprisingly, I was able to do the jump during the actual routine. It wasn't as good as in my rehearsal, but looking back, it wasn't that bad either.

You're a GREAT skater. I've seen your videos and I think it's probably the ice dancers' fault. :p  I can't practice when higher level skaters are around me for two reasons:
1. they go around so fast that they seem to occupy the entire ice -- I don't want to be in their way so I always end up getting a ridiculously small area for practice
2. I always end up thinking "geez I wish I could do that", and then reality sinks in. I find this messes up my posture A LOT.

Just relax. I'm sure you can do those crossovers. It was probably just a bad day.

[slcbelle]

Hi all.  I just got back from skating with my coach and I skated horribly again.  She was surprised.  I didn't have the mental block I had last week where I couldn't do a backwards crossover but I was all scratchy with my toe picks, stiff like a robot, and just plain ugly.  We think this development is due to a combination of issues: (1) boot problems and difficulty feeling comfortable bending in them, (2) my blades have just hit their end-of-life and are very flat which makes it hard not to be on that toe pick in an instant when going backwards, and (3) that we know I can do this better and the pressure of testing on Thursday is making me stress out.

We've decided that I will NOT test on Thursday as planned and will go back to basics.  We will take it easy from now until when my new Harlicks arrive (mid August) and then work on developing supreme (my word) skating skills.  I want to PUSH.  I want to BEND.  I want POWER.  Right now, I have none of that either because of my skill level, my equipment issues, or both.  I don't want to just pass a test.  It's important to me that I ace all of the elements.  I need to display a keen understanding and ability and I'm just not there.  I compared it to passing a student who clearly wasn't ready to move up a grade or level.  All it will do is hurt me in the long run. 

We will focus on honing basic skills, edges, jumps, and spins.  We will alter my Bronze FS program to make it suitable for competing at Pre-Bronze.  I will learn the Preliminary dance tests.  And I will test when I'm good and ready and not because there is a test date on the calendar.  I will also never test again in the summer.  Too many kids.

So, there you have it.  If I were to take the test on Thursday I might pass, I might barely pass, or I might fail.  Either way, I'd be completely stressed about it.  The shaky adrenaline feeling I get just practicing the Bronze MITF this week is unusual and unnerving.  I'm not in this for quick wins.  I'm in it for the long haul.  I'd rather wait, nail it, and feel great.

[jjane45]

I want to PUSH.  I want to BEND.  I want POWER... I'm not in this for quick wins.  I'm in it for the long haul.  I'd rather wait, nail it, and feel great.

Love it   Sorry to hear about equipment issues, take it easy until the real thing arrives.

[sarahspins]

I'm in it for the long haul.  I'd rather wait, nail it, and feel great.

I think that's a wise choice - you'll feel much better about passing if you are calm and confident before you test.

I think you could probably do it now, but I delayed committing to do my silver test about 3 times (only the last of which was my coach's decision), so I understand

[sampaguita]

We've decided that I will NOT test on Thursday as planned and will go back to basics.  We will take it easy from now until when my new Harlicks arrive (mid August) and then work on developing supreme (my word) skating skills.  I want to PUSH.  I want to BEND.  I want POWER.  Right now, I have none of that either because of my skill level, my equipment issues, or both.  I don't want to just pass a test.  It's important to me that I ace all of the elements.  I need to display a keen understanding and ability and I'm just not there.  I compared it to passing a student who clearly wasn't ready to move up a grade or level.  All it will do is hurt me in the long run. 

We will focus on honing basic skills, edges, jumps, and spins.  We will alter my Bronze FS program to make it suitable for competing at Pre-Bronze.  I will learn the Preliminary dance tests.  And I will test when I'm good and ready and not because there is a test date on the calendar.  I will also never test again in the summer.  Too many kids.

So, there you have it.  If I were to take the test on Thursday I might pass, I might barely pass, or I might fail.  Either way, I'd be completely stressed about it.  The shaky adrenaline feeling I get just practicing the Bronze MITF this week is unusual and unnerving.  I'm not in this for quick wins.  I'm in it for the long haul.  I'd rather wait, nail it, and feel great.

Sorry to hear about your equipment issues, but I think you made a wise choice. It always feels better to get a well-deserved pass, especially if you're in this for the long haul. Good luck!